Hot on the heels of Monash University’s rebel racist student politician Laura Riccardi’s offensive behaviour has come the University of Melbourne’s Student Union which has excelled itself by declining to fund a wreath for ANZAC Day commemorations but instead provided ample resources for the encouragement of exotic and potentially highly risky sex acts in front of – at least in one case – under-18-year-old kids.
Legal experts tell VEXNEWS the display was almost certainly unlawful.
A Student Union financed website explained what was on offer:
In-and-out sex can definitely be hot, but there is so much more that we can add to our sexual repertoire! Sexological bodyworker and professional switch Ambrosia specialises in the art of anal play. This is a demonstration of a range of an*l play techniques for sexual pleasure, relaxation, remedial pelvic release and methods for incorporating all of the above at once.
Presenting with a demo bottom for a live demonstration, you’ll see a wide range of exquisitely pleasurable techniques for external anal massage that cast the penetrative imperative aside. You’ll also learn a range of techniques for sensory an*l mapping and internal massage. Breathing techniques to enhance pleasure, relaxation and trance will also be demonstrated. Whether you’re into resolving pelvic pain, erotic massage, strap-on sex, heavy fistings or any other variation of arse play, this workshop is for you. For sex workers, bodyworkers and erotic explorers alike. Bring a notebook so you can keep a record of new techniques.
Believe it or not, all this went down last week in the taxpayer and student-funded Union House, in a zone known as a “Queer Space.”
We have no issue with young rebels doing anything they want to do as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone but this is almost certainly the most exotic erotic activity to occur in that building in a publicly sanctioned, advertised event since mad ladies Labor’s Kathy (nee Koukouvaos) Jackson and Liberal Sophie (nee Panopoulos) Mirabella used to strut their stuff in its dark stairwells. We also take no issue with “Lady Ambrosia” who sounds like she was on the job in the most professional way. Hopefully she will spare us the lash.
All kinds of stupidity are the direct result of compelling people to pay membership fees to a student union…
Comrades will be pleased to know the visiting sex worker’s website boasts “I am university educated, having completed an Arts degree in gender studies and sociology.” That’s a relief. Perhaps it takes a university education to understand how on Earth one could justify the use of publicly-funded, student-union membership fee financed, taxpayer-facilitated resources to facilitate live-sex-shows, regardless of their content.
The fact that it involves sex acts of an extreme or exotic kind is not really the point.
TURN ON THE RED LIGHT
Worryingly, the union has also sponsored a class in “Sex Work for Newbies” in the Joe Napolitano room. A former cleaner at the Student Union, we can’t imagine he would have been pleased that young women on campus were being encouraged – possibly even recruited – into sex work by a Student Union endorsed and facilitated event. That does seem a bridge too far. We wonder whether Monaro-driving pimps made themselves available at the recruitment event, giving out shiny gold business cards with their contact details. Hopefully not.
Interestingly enough, we have learned there’s also a room in the same building now named after a corrupt and moustachioed former Student Union manager, the creepy Graham Cornish, a sleazy individual who reputedly only narrowly escaped being brought to justice for expense account malfeasance by a timely death. His private habits were also believed to be exotic and involve professional assistance, although perhaps even he would have struggled with what was on offer in the ‘Queer Space’. Perhaps the Student Union at its next plenary session could also name a room after Lady Ambrosia too.
Liberal students – who surely deserve an award for gallantry for attending the spectacle and not once giggling or fainting during the floor-show – attended and professed to be shocked at the goings-on.
But surely nothing should shock them, by their argument, one we came to agree with having seen Melbourne Uni Student Union and the Australian National Union of Students up close, all kinds of stupidity are the direct result of compelling people to pay membership fees to a student union, regardless of the quality of its leadership or the nature of its services. Giving people the right to vote with their feet makes for stronger organisations not weaker ones. In the weird world of student politics, this voluntary membership idea is regarded as a fringe, extremist, even a lunatic view, but that doesn’t make it wrong.
For example, corruption, high salaries, rorts, chaos, division and hypocrisy at the Health Services Union is reputedly driving as many as 200 members a day to leave from its notorious HSUeast branch, many of them from Kathy Jackson’s Victorian division where the disgust with the Jackson slime-family is reaching a fever pitch. Under the current model of student union funding, members cannot resign, they are obliged to pay (or incur a debt to pay later) nearly $300 per annum, regardless of their philosophical views, desire to use union services or their regard for the activities of the union. The really are a union in name only, its leaders nothing like the real union leaders of this country, be it the SDA’s Joe Bullock, AWU’s Bill Ludwig, Paul Howes, even the ANF’s Lisa Fitzpatrick and the CFMEU’s Michael O’Connor, who are truly to be admired. They don’t force people to join their union who don’t wish to do so. Those who do so get very good value, indeed.
The imminent election of a Liberal government, with a promised double dissolution in order to repeal the carbon tax, potentially offers the Coalition a chance to renew the voluntary membership policy of student unions they enacted last time.
No decent unionist needs to coerce people to join their cause. Unions are a tremendous force for good and people should want to join them, despite the damage being done to their “brand” by crooks like former Melbourne Uni Student Union official Kathy Jackson who left that cushy job for even cushier jobs before finally emerging as Australia’s highest-living hypocrite at the Health Services Union on $270K+ salary plus $100K+ for board appointments plus a luxury Volvo SUV worth nearly $100K plus the ex-husband being on a salary for life of well over $100K+ with car and Motorpass despite not being required at work.
NOT TOYING AROUND
The Sunday Herald Sun’s brilliant young scribe and toonist Mitchell Toy sniffed out the astonishing fisting tale and – as an impeccably polite young man at a family values newspaper – has rightly declined to explain that the “extreme sex acts” engaged in by a “professional dominatrix” on the premises of the once-innocent Student Union premises included, wait for it, lesbian rectal fisting.
If you don’t know what that means, that’s probably just as well. For those wishing to hear the smutty deets, click here. We warn those proposing to listen to the confronting recordings that they could well be boned by an unappreciative boss. You have been warned.
YOU DON’T BRING ME FLOWERS, ANY MORE…
Also issuing warnings are authorities who caution this kind of sex act can be dangerous, risking injuries that even a well-known female Melbourne newsreader would be reluctant to bring to the notice of medical professionals. Infection, tearing and all sorts of unpleasantness are distinct possibilities. Wikipedia, an unreliable source, advises:
Vaginal fisting has caused death by means of air embolism. In general, sexual activities that cause air to enter the vagina can be fatal, with heightened risk during pregnancy. Anal fisting can cause severe injuries to the receptive participant, who may require hospitalization and surgery; in the absence of treatment it has also been known to cause death.
Anal fisting carries risks of colorectal perforation; participants are advised to use latex gloves and lubricant, and designate a safeword, the utterance of which will call an immediate halt to the activity. The practice along with the insertion of hard objects into the anus has been significantly related to the traumatization of the rectal mucosa in increasing the likelihood of infection, including Hepatitis B.
VEXNEWS ON THE JOB
The vast global resources of the VEXNEWS Investigations Unit have, as you might expect, obtained the astonishing audio recording of the high-risk “sex education” class that Liberal students on campus bravely volunteered to witness. Click here, if you’re game.[NSFW]
UMSU’s president Mark Kettle – of Labor’s Left – recently got into trouble after comrades opposed the laying of a wreath on ANZAC Day on the outrageous basis that it “glorified war”. Like a good clipboard-wielding proceduralist of the kind the Left have often produced who can sometimes struggle to see the wood for the trees, he denied saying it while producing a torrent of jargon about motions and meeting procedure on Neil Mitchell’s show that didn’t impress. Unfortunately the minutes produced of the meeting made it clear that’s exactly what he’d said. The shockjock suggested he might be a liar. Perhaps it takes one to know one.
Be that as it may, Liberal Club activist Charley Daniel is emerging as a feisty, impressive and entrepreneurial operator at Melbourne Uni fired up at the outrage and arranged a Tory bake sale to fund the wreath themselves. Someone there, led by Charley, is having a real crack. She further demonstrates courage on her Facebook page, admitting to “friendship” with Ross Fox but made for it by appearing next to one of few cluey Victorian Liberal MPs Bernie Finn.
YOU SHALL NEIL BEFORE ZOD
When Kettle was subsequently boiled alive on Neil Mitchell’s show, the easily-angered Fairfax shockjock even offered to donate a wreath so the President could lay it at the Shrine of Remembrance on behalf of the student union. Mark Kettle embarassingly said that “executive action” of that kind was not allowed by student union president. Cringe-worthy stuff.
This does not accord with the author’s memory of holding that high office but then again we only lasted until a May Day revolt of Marxists, Sophie Mirabella and some of her drug-addicted friends succeeded in a putsch that fortunately persuaded us we were much better off living a life making a quid (and even making trouble) than making laws.
Our highlight was engaging in the “executive action” of arranging a counter-protest to those ultra-leftists who thought it unreasonable the United States kicked Saddam Hussein’s invasion forces out of Kuwait. “No blood for oil” the “Death to America” brigades shrieked, our “Australians Against Appeasement” countered bravely, even blasting the anti-US comrades a fiendishly loud recording of an air raid siren of the kind those in Tel Aviv heard when Iraqi missiles – potentially holding chemical weapons – were fired at Israeli civilians.
Good times, although the outraged left punished us brutally for it as soon as they had the chance. Let history record, Israel’s now friend Sophie Mirabella supported them all the way. Good to see she matured with age in her views on the Middle East, perhaps she took out her frustrations on bedding crusty old academic Colin Howard QC, showing an old man a good time, as it were. He returned the favour by leaving her nearly $1M. By all accounts, she worked hard for the money.

BOILING KETTLE
Back from that time-warp, poor old boiling Kettle eventually whistled out half a good account of himself, explaining that members of his family died defending their country but gave a chilling reminder of the worst of student politics by hiding behind obscure meeting procedure in trying to duck blame. Perhaps if the young bloke had had his time again, he would agreed to pay for the wreath himself, to honour the fallen, including from his own family, put in an all-nighter to ensure he had no “sleeping-in” issues for the Dawn service, following up by handing out ANZAC day biscuits to puzzled and lactose-intolerant international students in Union House and taken the wind out of grumpy Neil’s sails. But that didn’t happen and – if you’ll forgive the expression in these circumstances, Mitchell tore him a new one.
We suspect come Monday morning Mitchell will be all over the fisting issue like a lubed-up latex glove and Kettle’s explanation that no student monies were used is again a too-clever-by-half lawyerly answer of the kind we sometimes are disappointed to hear from Prime Minister Gillard when the heat is on. OK, we get it. Union funds weren’t used to pay the hooker (that’d be more like Kathy Jackson’s HSU), she performed as a community service in a publicy funded space, in an event funded by compulsorily-levied funds.
HIDING BEHIND PROCESS DOESN’T WORK IN THE BIG LEAGUES
Our free advice being worth what it costs is: Defend it as education if you must, blame someone else (like the crazy ladies running that part of the union) for it, disown it, condemn it, but whatever you do don’t say that a union-sponsored event on union premises didn’t cost its members money when that’s not really the point.
Does President Kettle think it’s appropriate or not to have public exhibitions of live-sex shows in the Union building, even if they are cast as sex education? Will it happen again? Would future sex acts be restricted to lesbians or could others – like that provided at strip joints – also be considered? Does he personally support live-sex acts in the Union building? These are a just a few obvious questions he will be asked, if he’s brave enough to go back on Neil Mitchell show for some whipping of the kind for which he won’t have to pay (by union credit card or otherwise).
Perhaps the best spin on the stink for a bright young thing from the ominously potent and thrusting young Hilakari fraction of the Socialist Left is that if people are going to do silly things they ought be in a position to do those silly things with as much education and knowledge as possible to minimise the damage they could do to themselves and others. Instead, it seems the proceduralist young lefty hack turns to non-denial denials and lawyerly obfuscation when asked about the scandal by scribes. Big mistake.
In gamely putting a bit of media stick about, the student Liberal Charley Daniel is turning student president Mark Kettle into a piñata. While he seems likely to last longer in his office than we managed, it seems not unreasonable to say he’s not making a good fist of it.

I’m sure she had no issues attending the show. It is right up her alley
Lefty students are disgusting. Lefty student unionists are despicable and perverted. Things haven’t changed in the last 20 or so years since I went to uni.
Well, someone certainly has an outrage thesaurus. I honestly can’t tell how much of this is satire, and I recently saw 64 shows at the comedy festival
Your point is confused, which makes it difficult to form a response.
1. The entirely non-compulsory workshop was facilitated so that people interested in things like BDSM and fisting could learn how to do it safely and responsibly, in a safe space. There were grievance officers on hand, if anyone felt uncomfortable. As the description lays out, the workshop involved a “demonstration”, not a “sex show”. As you point out, these acts can be risky, so having trained individuals demonstrate how to perform them safely is an effective mode of education.
It may be a small minority of students interested, but the Union opens it to everyone. No individual will have an interest in everything organised by different facets of the Union, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be supported if they benefit students.
2. Sex work is not a frightening evil of interest only to junkies and pimps. By reading a description in a program, no one is going to go out and start selling their body. If they are, however, interested either in entering sex work, or better understanding how it can be done in a sex positive light, a safe space is the best location for it. With no one seeking monetary gain from that going ahead, or attempting to coerce the needy or disadvantaged, this was an ideal environment for advancing a dialogue.
2. Mark Kettle may have been caught in jargon when he responded to Neil Mitchell but it ISN’T his role to make executive decisions like that. I sit on the student’s council – not under Kettle’s “Stand Up” Labor force, and remember the wreath issue being brought up months ago. It was never voted on, but the Libs were asked to amend their proposal and bring it back to the next council. They never did, preferring to save their ill-gotten recording to give to Neil Mitchell and stir up nationalistic controversy on the eve of ANZAC Day.
The University already does things for ANZAC Day – the wreath which has become so contentious, would only have been an extra measure.
Incidentally, I believe Kettle did make it to the Dawn Service. Can’t confirm whether he stayed up all night to do so.
Not sure who Sarina Murray is but we enjoyed (and will appropriate for later use) the first line. The other numbered points suggest numeracy standards at the “prestigious” university may have slipped in recent times.
Corr!!! They could have used the vid of me and Wenchy on the bank of Mordy Creek in the Casey limo. Jeez, I hope her indoors doesn’t visit your site Andy otherwise me and Percy have had it, as she’ll hit the roof!
Kettle and the rest of his left mates are sick.
Sex education at uni? Please, if you don’t know what you’re doing by then should probably just resort to the hand.
I suspect the left though probably needed a little bit knowledge about the exit hole and strapping one on and all the health implications associated with that behaviour.
Also Kettle is a ugly man so his experiences have probably been somewhat limited.
He’s cute
Sarina Murray is from “Independent Media”. Both their level of independence and the standard of quality within the student funded magazine are at record low levels this year.
I’ll learn to proof-read my comments for numerical accuracy and we can teach each other how to avoid ending sentences with prepositions. [VEXNEWS: Don't be accusing us of something we are not guilty of]
But I will ask you to leave out misogynistic shit about ‘crazy ladies’ in the future. [VEXNEWS: If you think the expression 'crazy ladies' is 'misogynist' we suspect you have spent too much time in Parkville.]
I really don’t want this to turn into a student politic shitstorm, but to question my independence is defamatory. Independent Media may have given preferences to Stand Up in last year’s student elections, but do not do so each year. And it has no impact upon my vote at councils. I have no imperative to vote any which way, other than what best subscribes to the principles of an ‘independent media’, within and outside of the university.
We should note that the Farrago story we linked to on the Anzac issue looked about as fair and balanced an article as we’ve ever read in that publication (admittedly a long time between drinks). I exclude from consideration my fine work for that publication in ancient times which was, of course, fair to my friends and viciously scornful of my many foes. Headline was good too. More power to your arm (not fist).
MULC is destroying this Labor Left run union in an amazing way simply by making it accountable. At the end of the day though this isn’t a MULC plot. It is completely of the unions making. If unions waste student money on events that are obscene they cant complain about being asked to explain why they are so out of touch. As for Kettle, who selected him to be the presidential candidate? That person should hang their head in shame. Given his recent media performances, Kettle is either dishonest, incompetent, frightfully out of touch or grossly arrogant. I wonder who the next candidate will be? Rumour has it that Kara Hadgraft will be the Labor Left Presidential Candidate. Please let it be Kara!
C’mon Andy, why the sledge against Monaro drivers? I only “pimp” shares, not girls. We’re patriots too don’t you know. It’s not like Green voters drive Monaros…
Not since that wonderful and “Illegal” , yet informative article was published in a uni publication on how to “shoplift” aka breaking the law ..have we endured with middle class apologists publishing and funding utter rubbish .
I suggest priveleged uni editors and radicals alike, venture into the real world and see what it’s like to sell your body to pay for drugs or gambling debts. Not so hip and glamorous at all , nor a choice people enjoy making.
It’s misogynist because not everyone organising the week is a ‘lady’, and whether they are or not has no relevance to the article. And by positioning them as ‘crazy’ you get to invalidate their points without engaging with them. I’ve spent long enough around Parkville to know the four office bearers most involved in this event are all intelligent, rational and open-minded. Their willingness to engage the student body in ideas outside our cultural norms is admirable.
[VEXNEWS: Their willingness to engage the student body in exotic deeds is self-evident. And while pimps and strip-joint owners might be impressed with the public, no-ID-check, open-slather live-sex show, arguably used as a promotional loss-leader to promote the entrepreneurial Lady Ambrosia's S&M and fisting services, we suspect not many others will see this as particularly high-minded or appropriate, particularly if non-adults were allowed in. We also suspect you'll find this is the last time it occurs on University property, even if they retain the unquestioning support of those who edit the student journal. If we're wrong, we look forward to more extensive coverage next time.]
I don’t think to many people, other than Cardinal Pell and his papal cronies, will be rooting for Charley Daniels point of view.
We all know that Uni is about sex, after the lectures, and if a safe sex message is portrayed in the student show then well and good.
sarina has swallowed the trot thesaurus whole. or perhaps absorbed it through an orifice outside the cultural norm. whatevs, she is obviously getting a frisson of vicarious pleasure from promoting transgressive sexual behaviour
Are’ned those Students the next generation of Labor Party Leaders? This is where we get our present ones. None with Working Class background. No wonder the ALP is on the Nose with 75% of Australians Voters
Perhaps Charley Daniel is part of the next generation of Liberal leaders too or will she be a Roman Catholic nun instead?
I don like da Cathlicks or da Joos
LOL! The only missionary that Charley would get in to is the missionary position. Quite good at it from what I have been told, just ask Kon, Clinton, Courtney Dixon or John Shipp. They have all seen that show before!
The first lap dancing club in the UK opened in 1995. Since then lap dancing has become part of mainstream culture, with the 300+ lap dancing clubs nationwide visited by well-known figures such as Stephen Hawkings and Rihanna.
Jennifer Hayashi Danns, 28, worked as a lap dancer for two years whilst studying at university. She spoke to Ian Sinclair about the industry and her new book Stripped: The Bare Reality of Lap Dancing, which she co-authored with Sandrine Leveque from feminist campaigning group OBJECT.
What factors have driven the rapid increase in lap dancing clubs in the UK?
Many feminist groups believe that the rise in lap dancing clubs is related to a piece of legislation that allowed lap dancing clubs to open under the same licensing regulations as cafes or karaoke bars. However, this can only be part of the reason for their proliferation. In order for the clubs to function they need female dancers, and there appears to be no shortage of woman choosing consciously to work in this industry. The legislation has now changed and councils have the opportunity to set a nil limit on lap dancing clubs in their respective areas; which functions ultimately as a ban. Although I am against lap dancing clubs, as my book clearly articulates, I am wary of banning anything. As lap dancing is just an effect of a society that does not truly value women and, as hard as it may be to accept, a society in which women do not value themselves and what they could offer society other than their bodies. It is becoming increasingly difficult to solely blame the patriarchy; women must take responsibility for their actions too.
The lap dancing industry and parts of the media present lap dancing clubs as harmless, safe, titillating entertainment akin to visiting a nightclub. How do you respond to this description? What is your general critique of the industry?
The reason that I ended up writing this book was because of my perception of the depictions of the lap dancing industry in the media. I wrote a dissertation on the lap dancing industry in the UK at university, a year after I had finished working in the industry. During that research I rarely found any media content that resonated with my own experience. Could I be the only woman who had been part of this industry and found it harmful and damaging in hindsight? I found it disturbing that women would only have these positive messages of empowerment, financial independence and a life of luxury to base their decision on entering this world. The sole intent of my book is so that women can make a fully informed decision whether to enter this industry, as I believe the mainstream covers all the so called positives of this industry. My book is intentionally a criticism of the industry, or as one critic succinctly put it, it has bias running through it like a bar of rock! As human beings we have the often underused ability of reason. In this age of short, fast information, people read one article and think that they then are fully informed on an issue. I would urge people to of course read my book(!) but also read other literature about lap dancing and come to your own decision of whether or not you think this industry is of value to our society.
Several women in the book make a distinction between the ‘good old days’ of lap dancing where working conditions and pay were better, and the ‘bad times’ of today. Do you agree there has been a change in the industry and if so what does this mean in practice for lap dancers?
The reason I included those statements that appear positive are so that readers can hopefully understand why women remain in this industry and don’t just leave. As in any human interaction we can find both positives and negatives. In the club I worked in I found a great friend who is still my greatest friend today. When I first started dancing I was at the end of a ‘boom’ time. I could be confident of what I would earn, there was a feeling of community amongst the dancers and the manager was happy because the club was making money. Then as society started to suffer financially so did the lap dancing industry. In lap dancing your sole purpose, however many friends you think you have made or however well you get along with the management, is to make money. Dancers do not receive an hourly wage; all of your income is dependent on performing private dancers for individual customers. The product you are selling is yourself. If you can’t make money, it feels like no one wants to see you with your clothes off, or that you are not as attractive as the other girls. As the amount of money being spent in the lap dancing clubs decreased so did the validations of this industry. It is extremely difficult to feel empowered when you are begging men to take you for a dance. Also as the customers recognised this power, instead of treating women like queens they would often play their upper hand and criticise the dancers on a personal level – “You are too fat”, “Your tits aren’t big enough”, or as was said to me “I don’t like black girls.”
Therefore, I would say that the ‘good old days’ were when women felt that they could be certain of a regular income and the shift was to having to fight for customers and an income. The clubs responded by hiring more girls so they could still turn a profit from the house fee each girl paid, from £50 to up to £120 a night. As described in the book this meant for many that dancers would perform more explicit dances, engage in far more explicit conversations with men and the environment in the club turned from some kind of community to dog eat dog. In this dancers are faced with what they are prepared to do for money, I thought my boundary was a no contact topless lap dance; I didn’t want to talk dirty to strangers, or insinuate that I may sleep with them or ‘accidently’ touch them during a dance, but my own standards slipped when after a couple of weeks of not earning enough money to break even after my travel expenses, house fee and other costs, for example, beauty products and alcohol, I went for the first time to work in a club that was full strip, and as I describe in the book, “The first time I pulled my knickers down I felt my soul fall out.”
Those who oppose lap dancing clubs often argue the financial reward of lap dancing is generally low, pointing to the fact dancers usually have to pay the club a ‘house fee’ to perform and how they are in competition with the other dancers. However, a couple of the testimonies in the book contradict this view. For example, ‘Waitress’ notes “the majority of workers made a decent living from the job” with “a few making extravagant amounts.”
In an ideal world the money aspect would be irrelevant, but we don’t live in an ideal world and certainly in a capitalist society that values economics and profit above all else the issue of money and personal earnings in lap dancing are key points of contention. Yes there are women who work in lap dancing that earn more in two nights then a person working 9 to 5 on the minimum wage does in a week. And certainly there are women who make even more money than that in the larger established clubs in London that are frequented by celebrities and bankers. On the other end of the spectrum it is also true that there are women who barely break even, or make just enough to get by in life. In either situation how much money is enough to make to validate the fact that you are selling yourself to another person? You are selling intimacy, sexuality and your body. Even without any physical contact lap dancing is a sexual exchange; someone is paying to look at your body naked for their gratification, whilst they remain fully clothed. The dancer is not in control. If you need money you don’t really have a choice of who to dance for. It is highly unlikely that you will spend the night dancing for men that you are attracted to. In fact the reality is that often you will be stripping naked in front of a man (or woman, but still predominantly men) that you find repulsive. Repulsive for a myriad of reasons – they remind you of a family member, they are so much older than you or they are just generally creepy and make you feel uncomfortable. This was the main reason that I could not work without alcohol.
I believe that this industry warps something that is fundamentally beautiful and pure – the relationship between men and women (the majority of exchanges in lap dancing are based on heterosexual norms). Of course men find women’s bodies attractive, but instead of celebrating women’s bodies lap dancing reduces them down to a single commodity. If we have lost the ability to be able to differentiate celebrating women’s bodies for the beautiful things that they are and humiliating and reducing women’s bodies down to a miserable three minute exchange for £10, then we really are, as a society, in trouble.
Can you talk about how being a lap dancing influenced your view of men – both the punters themselves and men more generally?
My good fortune in life is that I have always been surrounded by beautiful men; within both my family and friends and now my husband. I love men and this industry hasn’t taken that from me, although I do know of women who sadly don’t share my experience. What lap dancing showed me was the ugly side of human behaviour, regardless of sex or gender. I have observed both women and men behaving like animals. This is what the sex industry can draw out of us all if we are not careful. It appeals to our base nature, that side of us that without monitoring can make us uncivilised. Our responsibility as human beings is to aspire for more and create a greater society than the one we first entered. I feel that I completely failed in this. I was drawn to lap dancing for my own personal gain, without a care in the world about the effect on anyone else, I didn’t care about the men and if this was healthy for them, or how hurt their wives or partners could be. I didn’t even care about myself. I fell hook, line and sinker for the hard sell of consumerism; I was worthless without money or the ability to buy material things. Even saying I was using the money for university was a lie – it sounded more honourable than I want money to feel that my life has meaning. I am only 28 but I have learned the very hard way what happens when you live driven by your base nature.
What do you propose as a solution to the current status quo?
In the book Sandrine Leveque and I suggest a more comprehensive sex education programme in schools that includes themes of self esteem and respect, and also at a later stage for teenagers, information about the sex industry. Our world has changed. With smartphones teenagers are now interacting with the sex industry through pornography on their phones and it could be reasonably suggested mimicking that behaviour with the latest phenomenon of sending each other sexually explicit images of themselves. Sex education programme must change to accommodate these changes in how young people are learning about sex and sexuality. With the intent that young men will not grow up and want to buy women and young women will not grow up and want to sell themselves (again I am focusing on heterosexual relationships).
Do you think the current feminist-driven campaigns opposing lap dancing clubs by organisations such as UK Feminista and OBJECT are approaching the issue correctly? Would you do anything differently?
I think that it is sad how feminism has become associated with man hating prudes who want to dictate other people’s sex lives. I am a feminist and the fact that I have worked as a lap dancer is no contradiction of that. True feminism is about equality of men and women. Feminism that excludes men will never achieve its goal of equality. I was recently at an event co-organised by OBJECT that was challenging the porn industry, I was happy that there were many men there who felt that the depictions of women in porn are not acceptable to them. Therefore I support both UK Feminista and OBJECT because they include men. Also, because of the mainstream depictions of feminism I had some doubts when I first contacted OBJECT. Although I had read their website and felt that we could work together, the stereotype that they may try and control me and try and get me to express my experience in a way that suited their agenda was a genuine concern. However, when I first met with Sandrine we got on like a house on fire and she treated me with nothing but respect, this has continued with my interactions with both Kat Banyard who founded UK Feminista and Anna van Heeswijk who is now CEO of OBJECT. I think that both organisations are clear in their goal of being against the lap dancing industry. I think it is important that people are able to access different viewpoints on this issue and then through the different perspectives available make up their own minds.
What would be your advice to men reading this interview who are interested in reducing the harm done to women by the lap dancing industry?
I would strongly urge men to not give in to peer pressure, if you don’t like how some people are talking about women, lap dancers or any women! Please have the courage to say something. To paraphrase a frequently cited expression, all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to say and do nothing. If you don’t want to go to a lap dancing club, don’t go. It does not have to be a normal part of stag dos etc. You have a choice. If you don’t want to look at porn on someone’s phone, or in a magazine, just say so. It can be hard, especially for younger men, as consuming women in these ways has perversely become associated with being a ‘real man’. A real man knows his own mind and is comfortable enough in his own skin to simply say “No, I am not interested in that.” Cherish the women in your life, respect their bodies and treasure their minds and tell them every day that they are important. We have to be patient but eventually all of our individual actions will transform our society.
I enjoy a good fisting, receiving, giving, all good here!
Adrian – how do you know? You never went to uni and no woman in her right mind would ever sleep with you…
Big Deal, who cares!
I’m abhorred by the attempt to use scare tactics construe this week as something innappropriate and negative. Last time I checked opening up discussion amongst young sexy people about how they can make their sex practices safer and more consentual was neither negative or inappropriate.!!!
I’m not religious but if this is the shenanigans going on in the public system I will send any potential future daughters to the Australian Catholic University. I may have to engage a professional deprogrammer to unscramble her brains after graduation but at least her rectal passage will be intact.
On another note what the hell is with the word “Wom*n”?? Don’t tell me the radical feminist thing of “we can use woman because it has the word man in it” has actually become mainstream enough to censor the bloody “a” (or “e” depending on context).
If they had tried that crap when I was at uni there would have been a midnight run to plaster vowels over all the asterisks.
Don’t worry Wolf I went to ACU and I cut many from the herd.
Wait? What, MULCer? Charley Daniel is taking all my business?!?!?!?
How will I afford my recreational habits now? WHY WONT SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME? Gideon?!?!?
Why all the outrage. Is the right horrifed that the left are impinging on their preferred sexual practices.
Regards
Don’t worry Tara, your still in my Top 10.
I knew Joe Napolitano very well.
He would often come in to see me in the SRC office when I was working late at night trying to stop the communists and destroy AUS.
He was one of those old school Italians who was inclusive and generous to all. He supported student control of student affairs. He even told me once that he felt the Women’s Room was a good idea even though he was a bit sad so many women felt uncomfortable using it because they needed a space where they could be safe. He knew I was in favour of VSU and it might mean he would lose his job if the Union couldn’t afford to pay him but he was always courteous to me.
He was quite progressive in his views and might even have been tempted to vote Green if he didn’t vote DLP or ALP but he would not have approved of anything disgusting or smutty. He would tsk tsk tsk at some of the more offensive stuff on campus.