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CHEERLEADING: Melissa Fyfe showers the Greens political party in love

melissafyfe Melissa Fyfe has strong views on the environment, as The Age’s in-house publication once explained:

She nominates climate change and sustainability as two of the big issues. She worries that the global warming issue has been distorted in some sections of the media. In the pursuit of balance, climate change sceptics are so often approached for comment it seems like there is a 50-50 split of scientific opinion. In fact, there are a handful of sceptics and thousands of scientists around the world who are not, she says.

So on those occasions when she writes about the Greens political party, she doesn’t mince words or even attempt to cloak her enthusiasm for those who might employ her when the Sunday Age is effectively abolished by means of shifting to a seven-day roster when they move to new digs:

Parliament’s quiet underachievers have actually done some good work…

[VEXNEWS: Groan…]

That’s the thing about the Greens. They are a different breed of politician. They are also on a roll. The West Australian Greens’ emphatic snatching last weekend of the once-safe Labor seat of Fremantle has further spooked Victorian Labor, already worried about losing the green-tinged, inner-city, lower-house seats of Melbourne, Richmond and Brunswick in November 2010…

[VEXNEWS: Did Stephen Luntz write this? He’s much hairier than Comrade Fyfe but their propaganda sounds so similar]

the three MPs have been so sensible they are almost boring…

[VEXNEWS: Definitely Greens party talking points here, you can almost here Barber stage-whispering to his colleagues ‘listen crazy ladies, cut down the craziness for this half hour with Fyfe’]

For all the hysteria of Labor’s right faction…

[VEXNEWS: Don’t you love it when The Age talks Labor factions. It has all the moral integrity and insight of the 1900 calls it advertises in the smutty back-end of its local newspapers]

Pennicuik, the Greens’ under-the-radar parliamentary leader [VEXNEWS: Laughable, Barber is in charge or would be if extra staff came with the title] , is well-regarded across all parties, works hard, and is incredibly thorough, organised and thoughtful.

[VEXNEWS: This is kinder to the nuff-nuff than the nuff-nuff’s own website. This article has gotta be a job application…]

The more frenetic Barber often seems bored and he would like to wield a little more influence about the place. But he is intellectually engaged in the issues…

[VEXNEWS: Barber would like to wield a far more staff about the place from what we hear is forever agitating to expand the Greens payroll. A man who is truly a believer in job creation. Perhaps Fyfe is auditioning with this puff piece.]

He had a big political win last year…

“We have agility, deftness. We arrive faster than lightning and disappear like mist,” he told The Sunday Age in his typically cryptic and abstruse fashion.

[VEXNEWS: This sounds like Barber testing the limits of what he could get away with with this starry eyed Greenist reporter. He got away with quite a lot it seems.]

Hartland is a passionate local member with an unwavering focus on the western suburbs. [VEXNEWS: And profiteroles.] She believes the west has been taken for granted by the ALP, its traditional political advocates (and the recent Brimbank scandals prove her right, with money being shifted from basic services to the pet projects of Labor councillors).

[VEXNEWS: It’s nice to know that in these uncertain times, The Age’s support for the Greens political party is so certain. But I mean ‘proves her right’, perhaps we should add ‘beyond any shade of a doubt and Gaia endorses her very wise view too’, this is all just cheerleading and spin not news reporting or useful political commentary.]

In Victoria, the Greens are conscientious legislators and scrutineers of government, but never the media darlings. [VEXNEWS: Except for darling Melissa it seems who thinks they’re very darling indeed]

The Greens have put their shoulders to the wheel, unlike a few of their Government and Opposition colleagues, who appear to be sleepwalking through their parliamentary careers… [VEXNEWS: None are named, such is the gutless journalism of the cheerleader]

And at a time when aspiring MPs — Labor and Liberal — come ready-made with identical resumes, suits and world views, and caution about everything they say, surely it is a good thing to have representatives like Barber, who likes to Twitter about how packed his No. 55 tram is on the way home…

[VEXNEWS: The Greens are oh so groovy and relaxed and cool. But when Greens party secrets are revealed – as they are on occasion to us – why are forensic leak inquiries started by Greens party operatives? It’s not quite as hip and ganja green relaxed cool as Fyfe would have us think.]

Barber, by the way, is over that mid-term slump. The solution? “A high rotation of Rose Tattoo albums,” he says. But Pennicuik, who is probably more familiar with the curative effects of hard work than the rock’n’roll of Rose Tattoo, disagrees. “I just gave him more bills (legislation) to do,” she laughs. Wise woman.

[VEXNEWS: Keeping Barber busy is almost certainly a good idea, he’s wasted in the Greens and has the face of a man who wears ill-fitting shoes (or sandals as the case may be). He is the sole political talent in their three-comrade show and that talent is misdirected to shaking down the government for extra staff with an entitlement mentality that must have been picked up from the officers at the Yarra council.]


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  1. Nice looking lass…

    Posted by hubba | May 24, 2009, 16:21
  2. pass me the sick back. what a shocking piece of brown-nose journalism that was.

    Posted by eastern patriot | May 24, 2009, 18:36
  3. The greens are economic vandals, only when they stop preaching thier voodoo economics will they be taken seriously…

    Posted by Anonymous | May 24, 2009, 18:48
  4. Ted on the news tonight looks great talking Labor and corruption.

    Posted by ted rules | May 24, 2009, 19:34
  5. Yeh it’ll pull lots of votes in the Age reading inner-city.

    Posted by LOL | May 24, 2009, 20:25
  6. ****the Greens’ under-the-radar parliamentary leader is well-regarded across all parties, works hard, and is incredibly thorough, organised and thoughtful****

    Normal Aussies would find such syrupy adulation embarassing. Fyfe, stop by Bunnings for some industrial kneepads? If you’re going to Lewinsky your greenie idols you might as well be comfortable.

    Posted by Byron in Wahroonga | May 24, 2009, 21:29
  7. Bye bye ALP!!

    Posted by anon | May 24, 2009, 22:16
  8. ALP=Corruption

    Posted by anon | May 24, 2009, 22:16
  9. The Greens and liberals are doing one of the greatest preference deals….bye bye John….Pity you never will be elected as premier…Not likely…

    Posted by Anonymous | May 24, 2009, 22:30
  10. andy, when you’re funny, you’re a crack up – and you cheer me up. but when you’re sarcastic, you’re not funny.

    Posted by c u on the tram | May 24, 2009, 22:41
  11. Not as bad as Paul Austin with the Libs in Monday’s paper. Tell us Paul, what does Ted’s cock taste like?

    Posted by Cheer Squad | May 25, 2009, 13:40
  12. Lets see the photo of her with her skirt off.

    Posted by hard on | May 25, 2009, 23:35
  13. a comment

    Posted by Anonymous | May 26, 2009, 21:00


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