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FRIED RICE: Greensparty fears Assange run in Victoria

As VEXNEWS sources correctly forecast last year, worldwide fame magnet and Senate aspirant Julian Assange has enrolled in his last place of Australian residence, Victoria, and will run here, disrupting Greensparty hopes to win another Senate spot in Australia’s most left-wing state.

His chum Phillip Dorling, broke the news today in Assange-backing newspaper The Age.

It’s just the latest in a new series of challenges for the Greensparty, which is suffering – according to its own research – from being seen as overly serious, old-fashioned, authoritarian, fuddy-duddy, preachy, whiny wankers who have propped up the government over the past few difficult years.

The official registration of the Pirate Party by electoral regulators, the Australian Electoral Commission, a phenomenon again highlighted months before most had ever heard of them here on your prophetable source of news VEX, and the Wikileaks party’s push suggests young Victorian voters usually attracted to the Greensparty will now have another two much hipper Triple-J kinda vibe choices to make.

Despite their grit-teethed support for Assange’s candidacy, Greensparty hacks, usually former Marxists, anarchists or ultra-left student politicians who realised they’d go nowhere in the Labor party, are all-too aware just how problematic a successful Assange run could be for them.

Recently, Assange’s star has waned a little, with even those once attracted to his flame like heat-seeking moths, like America-hating Jemima Khan, now denouncing him as an out-of-control ego-maniac who pretends to be a political prisoner when he’s actually just an accused rapist hiding out in a luxurious London embassy, toasting himself on a sun lamp, feasting on Harrod’s Food Hall takeaways and hosting Lady Gaga. Khan’s takedown of Assange was a delight to behold and is compulsory reading.

Assange’s success would be a cruel blow for Greens careerist Janet Rice, whose backers include the insufferable hipster and Occupy militant Nick Carson, who has been hanging out at Greens protests since the 1980s, prior to the birth of many Greensparty voters. Rice is herself in her fifties and, with straight-face, describes herself as a devotee of Gaia.

But like many people her age, thoughts turn to material considerations and whether she could achieve financial security via the unorthodox means of a parliamentary pension (not what they used to be with some MPs openly canvassing the complete scrapping of the defined benefit scheme even for those currently on pensions).

If I’d gone off and had a traditional career, I sometimes wonder where I’d have been. If I’d gone into Local Government, I would probably be looking at a senior management or CEO role somewhere by now. I think I could have been happy in Local Government if I’d found the right niche. I would have of course been hugely better off financially.

I asked Janet whether she feels regretful about this. “At the moment I feel hopeful that I will get an elected position for The Greens, and with that I’d feel in a position of influence and an appropriate level of recompense. But if financial issues had been that important to me, I wouldn’t have done what I have.”

So her level of entitlement and expectation is higher than the average Earth-mother. She’s due for some payback – Rice appears to think – after the hard-slog of community militant activism from the time of the beginning of the John Travolta era.

Rice is believed to be none too impressed with Assange’s candidacy, fearing the worst, and telling party comrades that WA Senator Scott Ludlam had acted “inappropriately” by encouraging Assange to run. Ludlam has been given an audience with Assange prior to his apparently permanent visit to Ecuador’s luxurious Embassy in London’s ritziest suburb, Knightsbridge and is believed to have discussed the logistics of Assange’s Senate bid. Ludlam is widely believed to have encouraged Assange to run.

One Greensparty observer intimately familiar with their internal dynamics explains:

“Janet Rice has all but been measuring the curtains of her new Senate office, such was her level of expectation of winning. While the Greens primary in Victoria is up since 2007, the prospect of it being sliced and diced by younger, cooler parties is very worrying for them and creates the real risk that a surprise result like the DLP could emerge unless Greensparty preference negotiators aggressvely elbow Assange out of the way by quickly cutting deals. Even in doing that, they’ll have to be careful because if they cross Assange, or are seen to, and he complains about it to his worldwide audience, then it could be catastrophic to the Greens ‘brand.'”

“The real worry for the Greens is that Assange captures global attention for his Senate run and that the cheeky, rebellious and slightly eccentric nature of it becomes a fist-shaking act of defiance for inner-city hipsters in search of a cause while contemplating shaving off their beards before they become unfashionable next year. It (Assange’s candidacy) could catch on like a raging bushfire or might just fizzle out if the Greens succeed in using cynical political tricks to passive-aggressively shaft them. Either way, this is a huge worry for Greensparty strategists who were (are) confident of swiping Labor’s third Senate position but are now left wondering whether it could be stolen from them by an accused rapist fugitive now living in London.”

It will be an interesting death-wrestle.


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  1. Spot on! I do really hope Assange is able to get into Senate and disrupt the GreensParty!
    Well written piece!

    Posted by Assange for Senator | February 13, 2013, 5:28
  2. Vex is first with the hot gossip. Bad things come in 3’s. First Peter Costello was outed for leaks to Joe Aston at the AFR. Second his bank business went bust. Third and unreported… The Age have sacked him.

    Posted by 1st. | February 13, 2013, 7:28
  3. He has to get out of the embassy first.

    Posted by Nick_Brisbane | February 13, 2013, 9:10
  4. No Nick. If he wins and can’t take up his seat the Wikileaks parti can appoint someone else. (I stand to be corrected)

    I would be willing to shoulder that burden. Vote 1 for H the B

    Authorised by my cat for H the B

    Posted by H the B | February 13, 2013, 9:40
  5. Yes! The hard left radical vote split. Who knows the Greens may even have to work to get votes. Unfortunately I think that Saint Julian’s halo has developed a bit of rust. He’ll most likely fizzle. Stil, I’ll take anything that gives the lefty’s grief, god knows they’ve given me years of it.

    Posted by Scott | February 13, 2013, 13:23
  6. Jules for the Senate? he is almost as pathetic as queensland serial candidate Patricia Peterson

    Posted by the insider | February 13, 2013, 14:44
  7. This is a tricky one for your Andrew. You don’t like Assange because he took on the Yanks over the slaughter in Iraq (10th anniversary of the murderous invasion next month to) but your dislike the Greens even more so Julian is now a patriot – funny.

    Anyhow Assange will get my No 1 Senate vote in Victoria.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | February 13, 2013, 15:37
  8. I’m in Vic and I’m voting for Julian!

    Posted by Anonymous | February 13, 2013, 16:21
  9. Jules vs Greens, Rapist vs Ferals. Kill ’em all, let God sort ’em out…

    Posted by Harry Lime | February 13, 2013, 16:32
  10. He needs the support of other Parties who would have to preference Wilileaks before the Greens. Otherwise he would be just a Green Feeder Ticket

    Posted by Sen: Julian | February 13, 2013, 18:06
  11. Andrew

    Are not all electoral candidates, be they local, state or federal, required to lodge their nomination forms in person, and nomination fee in cash, to the appointed electoral official for their election?

    Could be an iisue for JA if this is the case.

    Posted by Andrew | February 13, 2013, 22:51
  12. Andrew does this mean DF is a chance at number 3?

    Posted by dav | February 14, 2013, 0:30
  13. Media folks mostly compete to demonstrate how wholly conventional they are. Why is that so? Is thinking always the route to poverty? Assange is avoiding ruin from thugs and anyone conscious is served by more details about that.

    Posted by NoneDuh | February 14, 2013, 1:29
  14. Yes much depends on his preference flow. Australia’s Senate system is not pure proportional representation. If Wikileaks can out-poll the Greens or collect enough preferences to out poll the Greens then he might have a chance.

    Much depends on where the Liberal or Labor Party preference the Wikileaks, before or after the Green Party.

    It would be good to see the Greens once again become the wasted quota as they were back in 2007.

    But sadly this move could see the Greens back in the hunt.

    Under Australia’s voting system up to 14% of the electorate are disenfranchised and denied a say in who should represent them in the Senate.

    The Droop quota method (1/7) inflates the value of the Major Political parties by listing a lower then normally would be the case under a pure proportional system (1/6) This added quota becomes the wasted quota.

    Posted by The Wasted Quota | February 14, 2013, 7:50
  15. State Governments are local government. Read Quick & Garran to confirm.

    Local councils are unconstitutional and not local government(s). Don’t be fooled by a referendum question asking for these unlawful corporations to be legitimized.

    Posted by The Truth | February 14, 2013, 11:15
  16. Can one serve the people from a foreign land?

    Posted by Maxwell Smart | February 14, 2013, 11:39
  17. Congrats Andy. Vex the first to report 2 days ago that Pistol Pete Costello had been sacked by Fairfax. Can the Future Fund do likewise? FF performance on behalf of millions of Australians has been a shocker. Time to go Pete.

    Posted by Catoninetails | February 14, 2013, 14:02
  18. If the Wikileaks party runs a decent candidate in Melbourne, it might work to Bandt’s favour if he can get their preferences.

    The Greens will lose some of that sweet cash payout from some first preference votes, but a Wikileaks candidate might round up a whole lot of little floating votes, plus some labor and liberal votes and deposit them as a block to the Greens.

    Put the bottle of champagne away, Andrew, this may not be a negative to the Greens.

    Posted by But if... | February 14, 2013, 19:42
  19. Oh god, old Green muff muncher Janet Rice in the Senate? I’m going to move to New Zealand.

    Posted by Roy Tuswell Seat Sniffer | February 15, 2013, 10:27
  20. Oh Kate why is Jeff picking on me?
    I am his loyal friend.
    That young whipper snapper Guy is being a nasty pastie to me this morning as well. I think I have a nice refreshing glass of organic herb juice and read my Biggles Book that Mumsie left me – then have a little nap on your comfy day bed.

    Posted by Red Ted | February 15, 2013, 11:30
  21. If Peter Costello failed so badly as a mercant bank partner why should he be on the Future Fund? If he cannot operate a business like everyone else why lumber the public with him?

    Posted by Anon | February 15, 2013, 11:42
  22. Watch ol Matt Guy. Scotty dog and Kel out to push Red Ted over a big cliff.

    Posted by Frederico | February 15, 2013, 11:54
  23. The evil treatment Ben Zygier received from those evil, illegitimate, human sewerage Zionists should wake Iran up. Israel MUST be turned into a black smouldering heap.

    Posted by anon | February 15, 2013, 14:05
  24. I’m voting for Assange. He a good bloke.

    Posted by Private Wacko Jacko | February 15, 2013, 14:16
  25. Our people in the Gestapo and the post WW2 Stazi taught Mossad everything they know.

    If an inconvenient truth is about to be made public then make sure the messenger has an “accident” or “suicides” in gaol.

    Posted by Heinz Guderian | February 15, 2013, 15:29
  26. Shame on Jeff Kennett for attacking Ted.

    Posted by Anonymous | February 15, 2013, 19:10
  27. A large number of voters couldn’t even be buggered to turn up to vote in the last Vic. election. If that apathy crosses over to the Federal election, Bandt may be screwed. The Greens just aren’t sexy anymore. They might carry on as though they are the young and exciting party, but familiarity has bred contempt. They have been propping up the same Labor government they have been whinging about. They are part of the old, not the new broom.

    While Assange has all the attraction of a cane toad to a lot of us, to a some people he seems to be a glamorous person, or they like the Wikileaks movement. Not enough votes to win a lower seat in Melbourne, but maybe enough to get Bandt over the line through preferences. The real joy here will be if Wiki runs, and doesn’t assign preferences. The Greens will be spitting.

    Posted by But if... Wikileaks kingmaker? | February 16, 2013, 9:40
  28. Melbourne Ports MHR Michael Danby once said in an ad in the AJN “a vote for Danby is a vote for Israel”. Does Danby support the suspected murder of Australian Ben Zygier? Ben’s fathers ADC group is based in Danby’s electorate too.

    Also does Danby support Rabbis that bugger or molest Jewish school children and when found out they run away to Israel. What has Danby done to get there criminals back to Australia to face trial?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | February 16, 2013, 14:57
  29. Surely VexNews will support The Pirate Party given that they are the only party who would support Vex’ blatant use of copyright images for the bulk of the image content on this website?

    Posted by Long John Silver | February 25, 2013, 11:48