Does that hearse like tram still ply the tracks of Melbourne? Does it have a toilet on board?

Not just one, we can advise they have a fleet of three trams.

Each one is equipped with its own dunny, maitre ‘d and chef (no doubt a microwave expert).

Their website insists its interior is consistent with the “Great trains of Europe”, an observation that is probably only true if you count the Warsaw to Gdansk express.

Check them out if you’re a sucker for over-priced, microwaved food served in absurdly cramped conditions while on a tram.

At least the rumbling tram might just hide the sound of you parking your entree in the dunny. I’m not so sure with the horse drawn.