Opinion

GUTSY: Victorian Young Labor Left confronts its body image crisis

This weekend’s political conferences offer political observers a feast of excitement. Liberal state councils will be the scene of much maneuvering, as will the more obscure but no less entertaining Young Labor conference in Victoria.

The conference is expected to see the elevation of right-wing factional heavy-weight Grant Poulter as President of Young Labor in Victoria taking over from his friend and mentor Liam O’Brien, who is currently working in the United States.

VEXNEWS has obtained documents detailing the policy proposals of the two Labor moderate factions and of the Socialist Left Youth.

The latter’s proposals – available here – are a long menu of big fat spending proposals and offers of assistance to the Construction division of the CFMEU.

Left-wing bad-boy Alex White, an official of the dozy National Tertiary Education Union, has confronted personal demons over body image by demanding compulsory labelling of digital images.

He has so far been unable to find a seconder for his crusade against skinny models.

White is the leader of the Double Whopper with Cheese faction of the Socialist Left Youth and was last weighed at a city hospital in excess of a hundred and twenty kilos. Rumour has it that he obtained a tattoo “CENTURION” across his stomach to commemorate his considerable achievement.

White’s motion references jail terms on offer in France for publications guilty of making people look too skinny. He regards terms of imprisonment for this activity as excessive although has remained silent on the practice of some in the blogging community of adding on a few pounds to pics of those with whom one disagrees.

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