Looking forward to a good laugh. Especially from current Knox councillors.

Link to Aston CV’s is up and running. Click on above link in story to down load. (pdf 32mb)

It works for me.

http://www.vexnews.com/download/astoncandidates.pdf

Say No to United Nations activists.

Vote No to McGowan.

One thing we can be sure of is that the people of Aston could have been so happy, but the absence of any happiness means a sad day come Sunday.

If this is the ‘cream’ that the Libs have to offer the good people of Aston. I’m going to start drinking Soy!

Vote No to the convention proceeding.

Chris – please come back. PLEASE!

What a laugh !!!I note the CV of the Redhead from Wangaratta Tech, very modest but I suppose she has plenty to be modest about.

Aston Honeys…

You once had a real MP, who was head and shoulders above the current one and the future potential wannabees.

His name was Peter Nugent.

Seriously, a great man.

People like him wouldn’t be seen dead in today’s Liberal Party.

There is no one who is MP material in this field.

Vote No to the convention proceeding.

I hear you Natasha. Charming, intelligent, caring, hardworking, open, honest – look what they have lined up to replace him.

Agree with you Ron…

Where is the real talent to inspire the good people of Aston to vote Liberal?

Bunch of powder dry, economically blinkered, ultra right wing political hacks or Left loonies.

God help us all!!

argh – the right-to-lifers are out in force for this bible belt seat

Tilly Darling, I thought you were going to get a laugh out of this but now you seem to be in total dispair seeking gods help.May be it’s because thats the only thing that can save us from this bunch.

Ordinary field.

Mad Ken is the least desired candidate, then followed by Tudgey le Fudgey al Fakey. then followed by Nick UN McGowan

Who Am I?

I live in Bulleen.

I pretended my wife had taken my surname, when she hadn’t.

I have been linked to potential preselections in numerous other seats (Menzies, Goldstein, Bulleen).

I have a reputation for wanting a seat, any seat, in any Parliament (State or Federal), any House (Lower or Upper).

In communication to Aston Liberal Party Members I neglect to mention where I currently live.

In communication to Aston Liberal Party Members I fail to disclose the length of my service on the Education Policy Forum (four months) in an attempt to make it sound more substantial than what it really is.

I have no genuine connection to the Aston electorate despite feeble attempts to pretend otherwise.

I was elected on an anti-Liberal, anti-VSU ticket to the Student Council at Melbourne University.

I campaigned against State Liberal Governments in the 1990s.

I was very close to Labor Unity in my Uni days.

I did not become a member of the Liberal Party until my mid-30s, and some 8 months after being employed as an adviser.

I was not liked by my former boss, Alexander Downer.

Like another former boss, failed Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson, I have previously boasted that I never voted Liberal in my life.

I believe in compulsory unionism.

In campaign material I pretend that I am a supporter of voluntary student unionism.

I pretended to have an international consultancy ‘Company’, when really I was a sole-trader with no contact details.

I tried to take the credit for doing pro-bono work for the Red Cross and other NGOs, when really I was being paid my normal wages by my employer to do pro-bono work on my employer’s behalf.

My activities as a sole-trader, my major source of income, earn less than $75,000 a year.

I tried to deceive others by referring to some alleged high profile but ad hoc clients as “partner companies”.

I tried to redraw electoral boundaries by pretending suburbs were within or close to areas that suited me.

I am known as Tudgey le Fudgey.

I feign deep friendships with Nick Wakeling and anyone else that might have once passed through Aston in a desperate attempt to impress Aston locals.

I use Photoshop in manipulative ways, to pass off newspaper articles I’ve written as being under the masthead when they were not even on the front page.

I support PR in lower houses even though this is detrimental to the interests of the Liberal Party and good government.

I am very concerned about the plight of minority groups.

I draw inspiration from left-wing anthropologist, Margaret Mead.

I am supported by lefty-MPs Mary Wooldridge and Greg Hunt.

I am not very popular amongst the local branch members in Aston.

someone who likes getting down and diiiiiiiirrrrrty.

Locals Rule!

Blow-ins can blow off.

Fred my gorgeous honey…

That’s not what they said in Wannon!

Seriously – the Liberals should change their policies & personnel or they should change their name.

That would be the honest, honorable thing to do.

They are CONSERVATIVES… sigh.

Unlike Wannon, there are no quality blow-ins in this field.

I am a local.

My aunt lives in a nursing home in the electorate!

Vote for me and I’ll help the Libs tap into the gay vote (I worship Margaret Mead) so we can win the next election.

No Natasha we’re not conservatives we are liberals. Both economically and socially.

Here are some of the policies I’ll be pushing for in the federal party:

* Gay marriage and adoption
* promoting multiculuralism
* Compulsory Student Unionism
* Laissez faire access to abortions
* Open Borders Immigration
* Legalising marajuana
* Proportional Representation in the House of Reps.
* Dumping the Nats and forming a coalition with the Greens.

Yours in leftism,

Comrade Alan.

TLF you really think you belong to the Liberal Party? That’s a joke. Ultra-conservatives and libertarians – the Liberal Party is full of them. Any chance of resurrecting Menzies so he can see what this bunch of self-centred low-lifes have done to his party?

Of course I deserve to stay in the party; I run a successful consultancy business, have done lots of pro-bono work, have a wife that took my surname and I live in Aston.

I left out some of the policies that I will push to lead us to prosperity.

* Increasing ABC and SBS funding.
* Increasing funding for the arts.
* Getting rid of the Lord’s prayer in parliament.
* Saying sorry to the abos again – but this time with generous monetary compensation.
* Having a federally funded Mardis Gras parade in every capital city.
* Nationalising The Age (then I can write whatever I want in there) and the Sydney Morning Herald and bringing them uniing them with the ABC.

Hope you like em.

Yours in leftism,

Comrade Alan.

C Pearce will always be my best boy.

Tudgey. Traverses. Fudges.

hmmm Tudge le F. Why don’t you just come straight out and call them boo**s or ni***rs.
Oh and F***ts.

Not everyone in the Liberal Party is a luddite, anti aboriginal, gay hating religious zealot. Jeff K certainly wasn’t. Fiscally conservative and socially progressive woz ‘e. Not anti-everything that wasn’t white, straight and baths in Holy Water. Except of course Mamon.

Maybe we can get Jeff to stand for Aston….

I like candidate Ken Aldred. Very nice.

Vote for a human rights activist – Vote for this nice young UN man.

He will have a political career just as illustrious as mine.

A fake Liberal.
A human rights activist.

Is this the best that the party can offer the people of Aston?

Vote NO to the convention proceeding.

I am a local!

My wife played under 16s basketball in the electorate.

No good candidates in this field.

Vote NO to the convention proceeding.

The field for Aston is disappointing. The Liberal Party will lose the election if outsiders Tudgey le Fudgey or UN McGowan get up.
The ALP has a high profile local waiting in the wings.

Why did McGowan leave Baillieu’s office?

Why did McGowan leave Kennett’s office?

Why did he have no job for a whole year?

I’ll wager there’s something fishy going on.

I bet McGowan did not leave Kennett’s office voluntarily.

Why is he now rolling the dice for Aston when he’s never had anything to do with the place? He is not playing his cards right.

We are so lucky here in Hampton both our State and Federal members are mentally ill.

Tudgey le Fudgey and “UN” McGowan make J-Rat and JA look electable by comparison. No Liberal Patriot could possibly vote for either.

McGowan was sacked by Kennett for spending too much time at the casino during work hours. He was sacked by Ted for generally being inept.

Why would anyone vote for this man?

No wonder McGowan was moved on by Ted.

He put out 7 press releases in 6 months.

Is that what he calls a “media strategy”?

There is nothing wrong with preselecting incompetent human rights activists for Parliament. The Liberal Party needs more of them.

Who am I?

I live in Greensborough.

I have never lived in Aston or had any involvement in the area.

I am a party member in Wannon because I hoped to take the seat after David Hawker retired.

I pretend to have been a “senior adviser” to Jeff Kennett at age 21.

I was moved on from the Premier’s office because of my poor work habits and “outside interests”.

I was unemployed for a year afterwards.

I worked for a radical left-wing human rights organisation.

I worked for the corrupt United Nations.

I pretend to have campaigned in every federal and state election this decade, even though I was overseas for 5 years.

I was sacked by Ted Baillieu.

I pretend to be a “former small businessman” when this “business” was a complete failure.

I pretend that I have local cred because my aunt lives in a nursing home in the electorate.

I am not very popular amongst the branch members of Aston.

Who the hell cares who you are? You are all toffee mother f@$kers anyhow,

Vote one: Grant Poulter, Liam O’Brien or Casser Malhem for Parliament.