Federal Government
DEMOLITION DERBY: Fran pans Mal-function
The Australian’s front-page yarn today alleging Malcolm Turnbull offered up Peter Dutton’s shadow Health portfolio to Fran Bailey to persuade her not to depart her marginal seat of McEwen has gone off like a bomb within the Liberal party room.
Not even Melbourne’s Spring Racing carnival has been enough to distract Victorian Liberal patriots from the unsubtle attack on the credibility of their Parliamentary Leader. Turnbull vigorously denied making the offer but few seem to believe him.
NOT A GOOD LOOK
Fran Bailey’s decision to reveal her Leader’s presumably confidential conversation speaks volumes about the dysfunction and poor morale in federal Liberal ranks at the moment.
“Brendan Nelson clearly should have been allowed to stay on as Leader. We’re chewing threw the top-level of Liberal talent in Australia at an alarming rate. Howard gone, Brough gone and not coming back, Costello had enough, Nelson gone and Turnbull looking vulnerable and with many options should he spit the dummy. This is not a good situation,” a Liberal source explained this afternoon.
Bailey has been very popular in her local electorate for quite some time, and reached her apex when she did such a sterling job in speaking up for her bushfire ravaged community during the bushfires last summer. Turnbull was obviously very keen to keep her on as the best chance of hanging on to the seat, widely expected to become safely Labor at the federal election after next because of an expected redistribution.
BAD FRAN
But Liberal insiders insist that Fran “is a first-class b*tch” and that “there is no way Fran’s dropping of this bomb was an accident or faux pas or crossed wires. It was a deliberate, blatant, vicious act of sabotage. What’s motivated it is probably quite complicated, but we are talking about a total witch here.”
They say that Bailey’s popularity with the punters is inversely proportional to the views of her current and former staff who have tales of woe including being called at midnight, being screamed at, sent out to do personal and petty errands and such.
“I wouldn’t assume Malcolm transgressed in any serious way to provoke Fran, she’s a rattlesnake, even looking in her direction the wrong way is enough for someone to cop her venom,” one insider flushed with Derby Day spirit opined.
Another said explained that Bailey has felt underappreciated by Turnbull and was realistically not likely to stay on:
“She’s desperate to go out undefeated and clearly thinks she’s a good chance of losing if she stayed and fought. Her bushfire work won’t stop the national swing, if the polls are right.”
Meanwhile the supposedly prospective leader Peter Dutton has to slug it out in a notionally Labor seat where Labor can attack him for abandoning the seat. He’s no doubt feeling more used and abused than most of those chewed up and spat out by the rigours of life in Canberra.
If he loses his seat of Dickson, we suspect he’ll be unlikely to appear in Club Fed again. Who could blame him? With frenemies like his Parliamentary Leader, Dutton must be left feeling more down on his luck than a sunburned hoon at Derby Day who just lost his cab-fare on the last race.
Also worth noting is that this was an excellent scoop from Liberal wet Peter van Onselen, contributing editor at the Australian. He’s doing well.
Discussion
32 comments for “DEMOLITION DERBY: Fran pans Mal-function”
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kroges for pm
Who, I wonder, is the proud owner of that Patriotic Arm of Freedom around the shoulder of Peter Van the Man?
Fran should bow out now.
She should quit.
If she contested the next election, she would be defeated, courtesy of the shooters who had mistakenly thought she had principles.
She’s a has been with nothing to offer the Libs.
Bicycle Jesus, I believe it’s the arm of one Peter Phelps…he of the recent spin memo, among other activities.
Thanks for the tip, BDP! I knew the arm had a touch of class about it. I do have to wonder though: where has the love gone?
I have something wet I’d like to wrap around the throbbing head of that handsome PVO.
But if he keeps picking on my Malky I might have to take my affections somewhere else.
Good story but what difference does it make?
The libs are so far out of the game at the moment…
I notice you did not include Lord Downwer as a leader.
This just shows the Australian male has become entirely feminised. So just recline your seats and enjoy it.
In the seat she is referred to as “Fanny” Bailey
[Who, I wonder, is the proud owner of that Patriotic Arm of Freedom around the shoulder of Peter Van the Man?]
It is Dr Peter Phelps, the guy who wrote the “dirt digging” email that was leaked last week, and who accused Dr Mike Kelly of using the Nuremberg defense during the last election. You can see the full photo here:
http://democratic.audit.anu.edu.au/images/events/polfin/vano_phelps.jpg
BYE BYE FRAN GOOD RIDDANCE
She only kept her seat because of the Donkey Vote. Bet Malcolm Turnbull wishes there had been a Robson Rotation and greens reading there how to vote cards in O’Connor as well
Fran was a stunner 86 years ago!
Fran couldn’t win McEwen if she tried. The only reason she won last time is the shooters didn’t get involved.
That’s because Labor didn’t do anything to win their support of 2,000+ votes.
The Labor candidate was, still and will continue to be a great bloke, but a victim of his own lazy, lazy, lazy party.
They should remember, shooters have a veeeery long memory.
Since when has Fran ever been a ‘witch’ or a ‘first-class b*tch’?
She’s never been like that at all. She is known as a battleaxe MP because she’s held such a marginal seat for so long. Yes, she is a battleaxe so to speak, but she is definately not a mean hearted, angry, evil and deceptive bomb dropped.
Yeah Noel, the ALP is the best friend the shooters ever had (dripping in sarcasm).
You are sooooooo naive!
You make me laugh.
time to go now Fran
Fran’s biggest problem is the ‘demon drink’. Everytime I see her in the Whittlesea Post she is blurry eyed, the people of the outer north can’t have drunk as an mp.
Fran has done what ever takes to get elected, but she is a big assssxxed bitch and the libs are well rid of her.
Christ she is ugly – no wonder I chase Altar Boys!
That motorbike is the only thing ‘big & throbbing’ that old Granny Fanny Franny gets between her legs these days.
granny evil
Fran Bailey do NOT text me under any circumstances.
Fran under no circumstances are you to text me.
I don’t know what’s heavier.
- Fran, or her ego.
her ego
Oh I dunno, Fat Fran has really porked up of late ie the last 30 years.
But Malcolm promised me a position on the front bench and now I finding out he’s making the same promise to half the back bench. You just can’t trust anyone in politics these days.
So the vote is:
+1 for ego * +1 for Fran
is it Fran Bailey or Judy Moran?
The poll is now closed (tied 1:1 on which is heavier – Fran or her ego).
The conclusion is therefore that her ego is equally heavy as her 82kg frame.