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Federal Government

PARLIAMENTARY AFFAIR: Tongues wag at Labor National Conference as Minister Greg Combet beds MP Melissa Parke

minister One of the untold stories of the ALP National Conference is about sex. Decorum prevents us detailing these stories and many of the incidents involve married persons who should probably be spared.

And yet one true love has been the talk of this National Conference and that is between a NSW based federal MP Greg Combet, a freshly appointed Minister in the Rudd government and blonde WA federal MP Melissa Parke. Both entered the federal Parliament with impressive credentials, with Combet’s star rising very fast.

It is understood that Combet’s marriage to Petra Hilsen did not survive the transition from leafy Elwood to the Hunter Valley. Combet and the German born engineer Hilsen separated late last year, VEXNEWS understands in order for Combet to pursue his long-distance love with Parke. It is unknown whether Canberra one-time philanderer journalist – once described as a little predator with bouffant hair who sent young Coalition staffers then occupying the ministerial wing into a frenzy of nervous anxiety – Glenn Milne will be investigating the chronology of love. We don’t really care as long as they’re happy, a state of grace that some think eludes Milne unless he’s onto his third Xanax, a prescription medicine he is known to enjoy at social gatherings like the Walkley’s.

Not since the interstate and ill-fated love between rising ministerial star – whose career is rapidly recovering after colliding into the AWU titan Bill Ludwig’s disapproval – Dr Craig Emerson and now Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard has Labor had so much to gossip about, insiders have revealed.

Interestingly, another former ACTU boss Bob Hawke, whose passion for the ladies reputedly once led him into horizontal gymnastics in unlikely venues including pub toilets, taxi back seats and broom cupboards, has remarked very kindly of the new Parliamentary couple.

Of Melissa Parke, the former PM declared, quite possibly based on first-hand knowledge:

“A lady of extreme talent and she’s got the experience of dealing with practical situations which will stand her in very good stead in the Parliament”.

And of fellow pantsman Combet, Hawkey professed his man-love in terms many thought a bit silly given Combet’s voracious ambition expressed in his ruthless shafting and white-anting of former Defence Minister Joel Fitzgibbon and his credit-hogging approach in that Bastard Boys television production that made his shrewd then boss Bill Kelty look like an oaf:

He has intellect; he has heart; he has compassion; he has a commitment which doesn’t involve any personal ambition. I’ve never seen anyone in the Labor movement with such talent who is so un-driven by personal ambition. His ambition is the advance of the interests of the workingmen and women of this country.

Patriots will also be delighted to hear that the TEN Network has commissioned a warts-and-all tele-movie on the life and times of former Prime Minister Bob Hawke.

The Age reported the actor playing the former PM required some serious wig work, with the TEN network production requiring the services of a leading international wig maker from Germany.


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  1. So!

    Posted by Catman | July 31, 2009, 11:29
  2. Oedipus complex !! Must be time from Mr Combet to have another session with me. Anyone available for group, my fees are just.

    Posted by Sigmund Freud | July 31, 2009, 12:19
  3. She obviously has a very strong stomach. Ick, Yuck, Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!

    He is hitting above his weight in terms of going through the frauline wives.

    Funny that ambition and one’s star rising usually seems to go hand in hand with one ditching the old faithful partner for someone new and flashier (and usually blonde).

    He will never love anyone as much as himself though!

    Posted by Isn't the rule that what goes on behind the curtain at national conference stays behind the curtain? | July 31, 2009, 12:20
  4. Commandment 7. “You shall not commit adultery”.
    Leviticus 20:10 “And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”

    The LORD shall punish the adulterers!

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 13:41
  5. Greg is not married or in any other relationship. What he does in his private life does not take away from the fact he has done more for the working people of Australia than anyone else currently in the parliament. Maybe you should focus on the clown from NSW has clearly demonstrated he is not fit for the front bench.

    Posted by who cares | July 31, 2009, 14:21
  6. The greatest love story since Gareth Evans and Cheryl Kernot

    Posted by Henry | July 31, 2009, 15:21
  7. I molested myself last night, I said no but I know I wanted it.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 15:29
  8. Where is the Pantsman?

    I thought he got first call on anything straying on to the Labor side of the paddock

    How can John Faulkner Jr cut out a pretty filly from the herd before the Pantsman gets a chance to brand her with his special branding iron!!!!

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 15:52
  9. Good luck to him! She seems nice and it’s good to see a nerd wind up with a blonde now and then.

    Posted by Mommies Little Secret | July 31, 2009, 16:38
  10. Combet will feel the LORD’S wrath for his sinful adultery.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 17:08
  11. She is very niiiiice.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 18:01
  12. The Holy Ghost will punish those who commit adultery and Hell will split widen open when they meet their firey end.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2009, 18:05
  13. It would appear that to get laid one has to be a parliamentary secretary to Rudd.

    Posted by Sandra Kanck | July 31, 2009, 18:40
  14. greg gives great head although not as good as mine. what has mel P got that I haven’t? Whatever it is I am prepared to get it from the same surgeon that changed lesbo pratts shemale to a boy.

    Posted by Pissy Cryne | July 31, 2009, 21:41
  15. Gee wasn’t I a bright addition to the Ministry!

    Posted by Mark 'Abdul Muhammad Backpack' Arbib | July 31, 2009, 21:45
  16. I’m much hotter than Mel.

    Has she ever been asked take it all for for Zoo?


    But I have.

    Posted by Kate Ellis | July 31, 2009, 22:36
  17. All the bust to Grug and Mulussa

    Posted by Murray from New Zealand | July 31, 2009, 22:59
  18. The greatest love story since John Brumby and Lyn Kosky

    Posted by Daryl | July 31, 2009, 23:01
  19. How is a single man & a single woman an affair? Why is this news? You are so biased in your reporting you destroy your own credibility. As for your ongoing claims that Combet white-anted Fitzgibbon, where is the evidence for that? Besides would anyone be shocked that politicians are ruthless, ambitious self promoters who all think they should have the top job. I think everyone accepts that as being fact. It’s outcomes I am interested in. Combet was certainly a better ACTU Secretary than Lawrence is, his move to politics was untimely; but hey, he is ambitious so his move sooner or later was expected. Fitzgibbon was vain and stupid; he got caught out, it was his mea culpa.

    Posted by What affair? | July 31, 2009, 23:29
  20. Agree with What Affair (23.29).

    “We don’t really care as long as they’re happy”
    Good for you, Andykins. So you’re publishing this, because …? You might be better off going back to fanboying over Theo and Richter and practising your Outraged!Purple!Prose! You’re not quite up to The Bolta’s lofty standard, but you’ll get there.

    Posted by Yeah ... and? | July 31, 2009, 23:52
  21. hear hear!!

    Posted by clipposaurus | August 1, 2009, 0:16
  22. The greatest love story since Craig & Jake.

    Posted by Anonymous | August 1, 2009, 0:39
  23. Another ALP throat slashed. Weird, even for an ALP Right blog!

    Posted by Jock, the Scottish Ripper | August 1, 2009, 1:01
  24. Combet will be going straight to hell for his adultery.

    Posted by Anonymous | August 1, 2009, 1:10
  25. bit late with the preselection lists, Andrew – they came out at 6pm

    Posted by Evil Bastard | August 1, 2009, 1:27
  26. Oh, give him a break. He split up from his 1st wife, he was availble, she was available, bing bang boom, it’s luuurve!

    Let’s stick to important things…like the corruption in both major parties and the scumbags who run both shows.

    I’d rather see this site dishing the real shite not peeping through bedroom keyholes.

    Posted by The Clam Man | August 1, 2009, 9:53
  27. Dont forget joanne and john

    Posted by scarlet pimpernel | August 1, 2009, 10:49
  28. Although his aim is a little off target these days, the rumour is that Greg’s cannon is as big as the one on his Patrol Boat.

    Posted by SillyBilly@yahoo.com | August 1, 2009, 11:25
  29. This is typical of a man consumed power the lust for power.

    Pathetic ACTU Secretary, Even worse as an MP. If this guy gets to be PM….we’re all screwed!

    Posted by Dark Horse | August 1, 2009, 12:36
  30. Both Combet and Shorten have ensured that their careers will not be going anywhere for a while. Labor members (!) forget at their peril what a puritan the Dear Leader is. As he has shown over same-sex marriage, he takes all this Christian stuff about heterosexual monogamy seriously.

    Posted by Aroused member | August 1, 2009, 23:55
  31. Why can’t I find a safe seat?

    Posted by John Roskam | August 4, 2009, 4:00
  32. I allways thought Combet was a sludge packer.

    Posted by Beerpussy. | August 4, 2009, 21:46
  33. Combet has been known to ‘combat’ both genders

    Posted by anon | August 4, 2009, 22:27