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THE LAST POST: Landeryou boned by the faceless men of VEXNEWS

landeryoubonedIn a shock development, by unanimous vote, the faceless men of the all-powerful, highly secretive and KFC-eating VEXNEWS Editorial Advisory Board have this evening abruptly terminated my services as the Editor-in-Chief of this fine publication.

Accordingly, this will be my last post. Cue inappropriate music.

Truth be told, it’s not so shocking, and I depart from VEXNEWS tremendously proud of the stories we’ve broken, the team we’ve built, the heads we kicked, the bullies and crooks we’ve opposed, the injustices we’ve combated, the wrongs we’ve righted, the home truths told, the comprehensive headline news service we provided (including with unprecedented insights into the global operations of KFC and an eye for tabloid stories involving exotic forms of wrongdoing that so often appeared to involve New Zealanders) and most importantly the friendships formed, sometimes with sources and contributors I’ve still not actually physically met. Yet.

THE JOY OF VEX
We united around forming a cheeky news service that could report on the inner-workings of both sides of politics and the media that would break news, in some cases really big news, often admittedly with the subtlety of a sledge hammer. Our use of Photoshop in “digital re-enactments” will no doubt be eventually outlawed by some government agency or another.

We were inspired by the greatest newspaper of our time, the News of the World, to bring a tabloid sensibility to what some saw as boring yarns about politics and the media. Whatever we’ve been, we’ve tried not to be boring and I think even our foes would concede we’ve succeeded in that.

Our stories were rarely quoted with attribution by the traditional media but were swarmed over and re-hashed by journalists from coast-to-coast in countless publications. An honourable exception was Joe Hildebrand who declared in one Daily Telegraph column that VEXNEWS as the “second most patriotic website in Australia” (presumably after his own). We have broken more impactful stories than I can quickly recall, almost certainly more than any “blog” in Australian history.

We have broken more impactful stories than I can quickly recall, almost certainly more than any “blog” in Australian history.

It was assumed we were a reckless defamation machine, by some. The truth was that we were more cautious than most presumed and have never once being sued in defamation despite many dozens of threats from the rich, the powerful and/or the mad.

WHERE’S MY FATWAH?
Along the way, our reporting  toppled a WA state Treasurer in a sex scandal involving the only Greensparty lower-house MP, revealed The Age’s role in a hacking scandal that has three of their top scribes charged with cybercrimes which they are on the verge of admitting while pleading for mercy, revealed a Family First candidate who was an online exhibitionist, reported on the inner-workings of dozens of party preselections in places we’d never visited, broke shocking server-crashing stories about rogue footy players no-one would touch but which completely checked out, pursued enemies foreign and domestic and, in what remains a personal highlight this year, was denounced as a tool of “Western imperialism and global Zionism” by the official Iranian PressTV service when we outed their supposedly pious hijab-wearing Israel-hating Sydney reporter as having previously engaged in glamour modelling and other racy activities not likely to be welcomed by the regime. The story went off like a nuclear bomb sought by the regime, republished in dozens of publications around the world and in many languages. Their news service and the young poser promised to sue but, of course, like most of PressTV’s pronouncements, it was false.  Dreams of Salman Rushdie style fatwahs and ensuing global celebrity remain just that.

DOGS PEEING ON OUR SWAG
Our song was, indeed, a rebel song. And I accept that a substantial part of the reason I have been boned – to use our favourite Eddie McGuire expression for media sackings – by the VEXNEWS board is that sometimes the full extent of the normally rebellious notes we struck were muted in recent times, especially on domestic political reporting, after I realised how much political injury it was doing to ones I loved.

It was assumed we were a reckless defamation machine, by some… but we were not once sued in defamation. Not once.

The views expressed on this site belong to the contributors of the site, including me. Those views are self-evidently not the views of my Dad (who was a politician until twenty years ago) or my beloved Kimberley (who might be one day, if I don’t manage to talk her out of it) or my many mates on both sides of politics and across all factions and fractions.

SIMI VALLEY PATRIOT
Regular readers know that my views are not especially orthodox, for example, I am a proud supporter of union leader turned freedom-fighting US President, Ronald Reagan because he so greatly contributed to the liberation of much of the world from dictatorship and because his optimistic faith in people is what good political leaders of all views should demonstrate. History shows this optimism to be well-founded, exponential improvements in technology, ever-increasing ingenuity, have brought us constantly improving standards of living and opportunity. Optimism, not the scare-mongering of doomsday cult eco-propagandists or anti-reformers, is what VEX honours, on both sides of the aisle.

It goes without saying that pro-Reagan views – however broadly interpreted – are a minority position to adopt in my loved ones’ political party. I grew up reading, hearing and listening to the supposedly always unbiased ABC and The Age tell me he was a crank. If he was a crank, call me cranky.

In my reporting here, I hope I was able to report patriotically but without party political partisanship or bias (other than against the Greensparty, who are a menace and scourge except for their wily Victorian leader Greg Barber who has banned his state’s Greens MPs from denigrating Israel and should be in the Labor Right). We take this opportunity to apologise for our undoubtedly true story about his enthusiasm for military affairs in his teen years.

I loved the fact the lefty inner-city rag The Age would insist on calling me a Labor blogger with ties to the moderates faction and The Australian called us a Liberal blogger with ties to a particular sect of the NSW Liberal Right. The only thing we haven’t been called is Green. I think those confused descriptions revealed a greater truth about what we all achieved here, we aimed to be “equal opportunity slaggers” and I think we were pretty even-handed in our disparagements and praise. While a few associated with those journals would not concede it, our journalism was just as good as, and often better than, theirs.

Above all else, I’ve enjoyed not pulling punches and telling it how it was, from my admittedly quirky perspective.

FULL-ON OR GET OUT
So it is most certainly true that there have times recently when I’ve been reluctant to release the VEXNEWS hounds on stories out of concern that those who dislike what we report (or perhaps even just how we report) would blame loved ones for it. And that is as good as any reason to get boned from any job. Give 110% or get out would be my unfair dismissal law.

It horrified me that there were people – including some who loudly profess feminism and gender equality in public forums – who wouldn’t vote for my wife, Kimberley, in a recent preselection because they assumed my views were hers. Some admitted it, quite directly, to her. I think she initially laughed about the preposterous and silly presumption that a highly accomplished woman would outsource her thinking to her husband until she realised they were deadly serious.

If that is the view of “progressives,” little wonder the first female Prime Minister had electoral challenges in this country despite performing steadily and admirably, in many ways. We are a more puzzlingly sexist society than we care to admit and than I had ever noticed until very recently. Yes, I emerged as a feminist writer, after all.

I feel so blessed to be so happily married with a brilliant but easy-going person who tolerates my substantially less than than easy-going ways that I simply reached the point where I couldn’t tolerate her being blamed for me. I owe her much more than that.

So I accept my boning in good grace and with even a little gratitude at being released from my obligations here. The saying “Happy wife, happy life,” is wise counsel. Wise counsel of which my beloved reminds me from time to time, mostly, in jest.

A WILD RIDE
There’ve been so many times I’ve laughed uproariously to myself while punching out some brutal smart-alec lines on my battered keyboard or while editing the brilliant work of our inspired contributors or composing shock revelations after days of digging and conjuring cheeky Photoshopped graphics that I know that today a small light in my life will be extinguished. I know already that I’ll really, really miss it. And miss all of you.

It’s been cheaper than therapy and helped, when I started, lift my spirits out of a deep abyss. A dear friend encouraged me – practically forced me – to start the Other Cheek blog when it seemed The Age had dedicated itself to slagging me off in ever more vicious ways that culminated in senile gossip columnist Lawrence Money calling me a “fat whale” in his column, so aggrieved was he. My predecessor blog turned me from hunted to hunter in a nano-second and gave me something to throw my restless energies into that made my heart sing. But as important and wonderful for me as it’s been, all good things must come to an end.

Accordingly, with immediate effect, I will be passing the torch to Leroy Lynch, Nick Mack, Christian Lyons and all the rest of the VEXNEWS team. It’s not for me to speculate about their plans for their future. Please be good to them and I’m sure they’ll be good for you. It might take them a few weeks to get themselves sorted.

I have no doubt VEXNEWS will change significantly in my absence, perhaps a little “kinder and gentler” than under my crazed stewardship but I hope it will remain a patriotic force for good in all the days to come.

Godspeed to them, and to all of you. It’s been a privilege.

THE REACTION:

editing proofreading services

facelessmen

And the final word goes to Andrew Bolt.

Discussion

Comments are disallowed for this post.

  1. Farewell or maybe just adieu?

    Posted by Farrago 1990 | July 1, 2013, 19:04
  2. Well well – I always took you for a selfish twat engaging in blatant party hackery Landeryou. A man blinded by the pervasive and egregious fuckwittishness of student politics.

    Actions speak, and though I’ll likely hand out against her one day, best of luck to your better half, do hope she gets there.

    Posted by Screaned | July 1, 2013, 19:15
  3. Andrew, It’s been a great read all these years, hopefully you’ll be contributing to the patriotic political scene in some other capacity soon. Good Luck!!!

    Posted by Harry Lime | July 1, 2013, 19:22
  4. Whilst I understand you need to give 100% or move on and you chose the later.

    In the words of the famous.

    “I may not agree with what you said but I will defend your right to say it.”

    Democracy in itself is perpetually vexing.

    All the best to the new team

    Posted by DemocracyATwork | July 1, 2013, 19:33
  5. In the words of Voltaire,

    ‘Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.’

    Good bye Landeryou

    Posted by Mysterious and wise | July 1, 2013, 20:35
  6. Godspeed to you Andrew. It’s been great.

    And good luck to the new team. Keep it great.

    Posted by Anon | July 1, 2013, 20:36
  7. Good riddance you prick

    Posted by Billy Bob Shortarse | July 1, 2013, 20:54
  8. You will be missed, Andy.

    Posted by Anonski | July 1, 2013, 21:13
  9. In your retirement, Mr Landeryou, you will have to join Fatty Doyle and myself for a European Whiskey or two…

    Posted by McPerton | July 1, 2013, 21:29
  10. I heard Andrew likes a good boning

    Posted by Roger the Dodger | July 1, 2013, 21:53
  11. C U round like a rissole

    Posted by C U on the tram | July 1, 2013, 22:48
  12. I bet it was the Jews that sacked you.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 1, 2013, 23:07
  13. Adrian Jackson at 23:07 is an impostor.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 1, 2013, 23:08
  14. So what will you be doing now Landeryou?

    Posted by Anonymous | July 1, 2013, 23:52
  15. Andrew, so now we learn that:

    1.Even Vexnews has its Vex-Rats 2.Just like Labor has Lab-Rats, and
    3.The Liberals have Lib-Rats.

    There seems a virtual plaque of the slimy, smelly, traitorous, conniving and disloyal rodents.

    Tell us now, who will be Vexnews’ next rat-catcher?

    Posted by Rats in the Ranks | July 1, 2013, 23:55
  16. Has Landeryou only faked his death? Is there something more to this than this than meets the eye?

    Posted by Nigel Tufnell the Third | July 2, 2013, 0:25
  17. I thought that you owned Vexnews Andrew? Who is this Editorial Board?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 0:26
  18. Goog luck for your future and of cause the Bombers for premiers this season. Go the Bombers and go Kev, show Dr No the Door.

    Posted by Brimbank finest | July 2, 2013, 0:29
  19. Andrew was better than God as Andrew is real

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 0:36
  20. Did K Rudd have anything to do with it?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 0:38
  21. Perhaps it was Dill Shortbread

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 0:39
  22. Who is on the Editorial Advisory Board?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 0:40
  23. Librat Gledhillis set to become the bridesmaid when he accepts nomination for Deputy Mayor of Kingston to Labor Steve Staikos. Current Mayor Rob Brownose will repay the debt of Gledhill knifing Peulich in last year’s mayoral vote by delivering Gledhill the booby prize. The fact that a Labor Mayor still subject to bullying allegations in ratepayer funded confidential reports will be elected as Mayor in a State election year speaks volumes of the depths to which Kingston Council has sunk in recent years. Kingston’s council officers are frustrated at the situation with plans to jump ship from a council which is further headed for troubled waters.

    Posted by Kingston Rodents | July 2, 2013, 0:43
  24. Best of luck in your new endeavours, I got a real kick out of many of your articles and only a couple of them caused me mild apoplexy.

    Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2013, 4:34
  25. Andrew is to Vexnews what Bert Newton is to Channel 9. One can’t live without the other. Now it’s up to Andrew to fulfill his next dream – King of Moomba.

    Posted by rubberduck | July 2, 2013, 6:49
  26. so who is left to report on Tony Abbott’s relationship with the late Christopher Pearson?

    Posted by the Insider | July 2, 2013, 8:35
  27. Best wishes and thank you.

    Posted by Dan Lewis | July 2, 2013, 8:37
  28. Vex News is responsible for me eating KFC more often.

    Posted by Lyall | July 2, 2013, 8:49
  29. The Editorial Advisory Board is code for the Democratic Central Committee of Australia. It actually is a communist front.

    Andrew has been banished to the gulag where he belongs.

    H the B

    Posted by H the B | July 2, 2013, 9:32
  30. Don’t worry Andrew will probably reappear on the drum or the guardian heh

    Posted by clive_palmers_horse | July 2, 2013, 9:37
  31. I agree with Dan Lewis 02 Jul 13, 8.37)

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 9:53
  32. We know what happened when Sydney’s Warwick Fairfax interfered with the excellent Melbourne, Syme family run, Age newspaper.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 9:57
  33. Alas.

    Posted by The Whore of Babylon | July 2, 2013, 10:32
  34. Truth can now be told – Andrew is ditching the reds and joining the greens … to run against Feeney in Batman

    Posted by just diss | July 2, 2013, 11:04
  35. So…. who is the new person?

    Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2013, 11:36
  36. There will be no Vexnews under a Government I lead.
    Is Sam Dastyari still selling those rugs?

    Posted by Prime Minister Here's my Head, my Arse is coming | July 2, 2013, 14:21
  37. I’m glad to see the back of Andrew. Remember me? I love a drink then a close dance with either gender as I’m not fussy as long as it has a pulse.

    Posted by [deleted] | July 2, 2013, 14:38
  38. sacked? sounds more like resignation

    Posted by evil bastard | July 2, 2013, 15:36
  39. Had KFC for tea, NE to determine wife’s non future methinks.

    Posted by Reggie | July 2, 2013, 15:39
  40. I’m so excited I have to do a few laps in my skinny dipping pool at Marth’a Mount

    Posted by Solly Loo | July 2, 2013, 17:44
  41. Andy you might be able to help satisfy me?

    Posted by EPC | July 2, 2013, 17:48
  42. Dirty kikes ruin everything. Why, mother, oh why!

    Sometimes, on Yom Kippur, I like to put on Leni Riefenstahl movies. I cover myself in bacon fat, and I touch myself.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 18:43
  43. Adrian Jackson (02 Jul 13, 18:43) is an imposter.

    But Leni Riefenstahl was a great and brave actress, filmmaker and later still photographer. Some of her film won awards in Film Festivals in France in the 1930’s.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 19:49
  44. Adrian Jackson (02 Jul 2013, 19:49) is an imposter.

    But Adolf Hitler was a great and brave author, leader and statesman. Some of his books won awards at Nuremberg Rallies in Germany in the 1930s.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 20:28
  45. Dam! Rosie love can you spare me one of your pads? I’ve just soiled my new Italian strides.

    Posted by Solely Phew | July 2, 2013, 20:55
  46. My back door is gaping open in the expectation of a shafting of joy, I might cross the floor as Rudd is supporting pillow biter marriage.

    Posted by Pissy Chryne | July 2, 2013, 21:13
  47. The post at 02 Jul 13, 20:28 is not mine.

    Who is now running this website now that Andrew is gone? Use your own name not mine. I don’t hide behind a screen name like so many of you.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 21:49
  48. There are some people usung Vexnews that should have been put down in Germany during the 3rd Reich.

    Posted by Heinz Guderian | July 2, 2013, 21:53
  49. But who will print the truth about the greens?

    Posted by Stinking Violet | July 2, 2013, 23:04
  50. The post at 02 Jul 13, 21:49 is not mine.
    I was busy at the time looking in the window of male lavatory at the St Kilda Synagogue.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 2, 2013, 23:14
  51. Panzers RV at St Kilda Tram Station

    Posted by Heinz Guderian | July 2, 2013, 23:46
  52. You know the truth of 1, though entangled to silence.
    where is robin when you need him
    Some one send a toaster to gg

    Posted by Freddy | July 2, 2013, 23:50
  53. Now that your first love, Julia, has been shafted, you find no reason to go on?

    Good riddance to you and to her. The best that can be said about you is that you didn’t assist in embezzling hundreds of thousands from the lowest paid workers in the country.

    Now, get a real job!

    Posted by Anto | July 3, 2013, 1:17
  54. conroy is coming

    Posted by hoowoo | July 3, 2013, 8:51
  55. Get some ice-cream and 60 million frequent flyer points….. NOW.

    Posted by Frequent Flyer Joe | July 3, 2013, 11:00
  56. The “new boys” might have been more influential than we perceived, so the great giggling may possibly continue unabated. Thanks Mr Landeryou for your bits.

    Posted by David | July 3, 2013, 13:09
  57. conroy has a few problems cuming

    Posted by hoowoo 2 | July 3, 2013, 18:56
  58. See you there

    Posted by Freddy | July 3, 2013, 21:24
  59. no divisive issues

    Posted by H | July 3, 2013, 21:42
  60. Does anyone know the tweeters shamelessly added above?

    Posted by Mysterious and wise | July 4, 2013, 7:03
  61. Mossad stole my drycleaning

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 4, 2013, 11:39
  62. During the 3rd Reich most of them wore striped uniforms and rarely got them cleaned

    Posted by Heinz Guderian | July 4, 2013, 17:36
  63. mehmett my pet. do your worst

    Posted by hoowoo | July 4, 2013, 20:55
  64. Sieg heil viktoria Heinz Guderian, es geht um Deutschlands Gloria.

    Posted by Brimbank finest | July 5, 2013, 1:51
  65. Andrew … want a lift home mate?

    I seem to have a lot of time on my hands these days. But I’d like to have a lot more on my hands these days.

    RDR

    Posted by RDR | July 5, 2013, 6:26
  66. Who are the new Vexnews team or are they faceless men?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 5, 2013, 11:55
  67. I’ll miss the ads for BAD IDEA T-SHIRTS!

    Posted by Colonel Hogan | July 5, 2013, 18:03
  68. Stephen Mayne will be celebrating this (quite possibly at ratepayer expense)!!

    Posted by DoubleK | July 5, 2013, 21:27
  69. I did feel that the VEX of recent times had lost some of its earlier punch. The Greens were always good VEXfodder, but there weren’t the stories to rival the sagas of Hajnal Ban or Dr Patricia Petersen PhD. And how fondly do I recall now the VEXNEWS world exclusive that outed Kate Middleton as a werewolf.
    All the best to you and yours, Mr Landeryou. As for the notion of a kinder and gentler VEXNEWS – well really, who the fuck wants that?

    Posted by Gregoryno6 | July 5, 2013, 22:38
  70. Hopefully Kimberly loses preselection soon so you can return to Vex

    Posted by Simon | July 6, 2013, 18:04
  71. Good riddance; you wrote the most appallingly waste-of-time piece about me several years ago when I was a young ABC reporter – simply because i’d been vox popped by MX about whether Australians work too hard. You went a massive rant about how I was wrong (they quoted about six words out of my total answer) and how I was a ‘leftard’ – and a soviet because I had previously worked at Radio National. Really there was a disproportionate amount of time, energy and emotion dedicated to this ‘issue’ – it all tasted rather bitter to me.

    You sounded like someone crying out for a hobby; but now you’ve clearly managed to find an audience of similarly mentally unstable onliners whose rage is about as inexplicable as their belief there comments are highly witty (and seem to limit all human interaction to websites like this one).

    Congratulations on being a c-rate shock columnist who never quite made the mainstream cut.

    Posted by Luke Williams | July 7, 2013, 11:22
  72. We lost a good PM now a good editor.

    Next we will have Tony Abbott elected PM.

    What is tn world coming too, who will fight for justice and expose corruption where they see it.

    Come back soon

    Posted by Jutsice denied | July 7, 2013, 11:25
  73. Keeno. Rorts. Lies.

    Posted by AKD | July 7, 2013, 11:26
  74. I like a lot of the posts on VexNews, although it can sometimes be weeks between listings. It has slipped a fair bit over the last year or so, but still a good read.
    The site is supposed to be about politics, but there often seems to be a lot of emphasis given to Jewish and anti-semitic stories. Hope someone can bring the site back to its former glory.

    Posted by Roy Tuswell Seat Sniffer | July 8, 2013, 6:46
  75. Legal chums tell me this will make you easier to sue the shit out of Andrew… and btw, Kimberley has no chance in Lalor! Good riddance to bad toxic rubbish.

    Posted by Retrovirus | July 8, 2013, 11:24
  76. Does anyone know of any ointments to eliminate my wife’s cankles?

    Posted by Sam Dastardly | July 8, 2013, 12:26
  77. I’m taking Luke Williams case to both ACMA and the Muslim Brotherhood

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 8, 2013, 14:17
  78. Imposter at 08 Jul 13,14:17 hrs

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 8, 2013, 16:46
  79. The Age has a front page story today (08 Jul 13) on Lalor. Gillard has picked a 51 year old state school head mistress to support but Ms Ryan has not been a ALP member since 2010 – opps.

    Who was the last ALP school teacher from over in the west. I remember it was Joan Kirner – oh dear.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 8, 2013, 16:51
  80. At least Gillard and Labor preselect women with some ability while the Libs preselect women who know how to stand out in a crowd ( for all the wrong reasons) but never produce a good policy.

    Labor Women are saying that Labor embraces all women MPs . That is why Gillard is campaigning for a 51 year olf principal.

    Nappy staffers say he wants more for girls in their 30s pre-selected and has sidelined the mature women he has in his party room. Andrea Coote is a case in point.

    Posted by Amazon | July 8, 2013, 21:30
  81. Why is everyone always questioning my integrity?

    Posted by KOD | July 8, 2013, 22:06
  82. Why pre select someone who is over 50? All that will happen is they will be in opposition for 10 years and then they will retire on a Parliamentary pension.

    A Glen Eira councillor aged 54 hopes to be preselected for Hotham to replace Simon Crean. Another post election oppositon seat warmer.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 8, 2013, 23:34
  83. I’m sweet and young. In fact I’ve never even been kissed. Don’t demote me Dennis

    Posted by Lendy Wovell | July 8, 2013, 23:35
  84. I can tell everyone now who will win those vacant Seats. The winner will be the one with the biggest stack, that’s who.

    Posted by Brimbank finest | July 9, 2013, 0:15
  85. the last post on this site is this one. how about some new stories? the VEXNEWS Editorial Advisory Board needs to get off their collective arses and get some new stories out there. do something about that grub Rudd or the photogenic Nappy

    Posted by cocko | July 9, 2013, 8:48
  86. Rumour has it there is only member of the EAB – Senator Shorten.

    Posted by Anonski | July 9, 2013, 9:03
  87. I am a backward retard

    Posted by Jadrian Ackson | July 9, 2013, 12:38
  88. I’m keen on using your backdoor Jadrian.

    Posted by Pissy Chryne | July 9, 2013, 12:49
  89. With the disability care plan about to be implemented by the new Liberal Government in Canberra I am surprised that the left on this website are attacking “retards” (there words not mine).

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 9, 2013, 14:51
  90. Speaking of retards where is that nuff nuff Dan Lewis?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 9, 2013, 16:58
  91. July 9, 2013, 16:58 is an imposter

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 9, 2013, 21:30
  92. Good luck Andrew. Enjoy the Nandos haze!

    Posted by Perri-Perri | July 9, 2013, 21:48
  93. Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 8, 2013, 23:34

    Adrian, would you go to a trainee doctor when you need serious surgery ?

    Simon Crean will be hard to match , especially by someone like Geoff Lake.

    Posted by Amazon | July 9, 2013, 22:19
  94. Gillard still tring to run the show

    Posted by Cheese | July 9, 2013, 22:32
  95. July 9, 2013, 21:30 is an imposter. Dan please call me I want another serve of your kosher hot dog.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 9, 2013, 23:07
  96. This is the last time I will use my real name on Vexnews and there are imposters using it. Any future comments by me will be using a screen name but not my real name. Goodbye.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 10, 2013, 13:47
  97. July 10, 2013, 13.47 is an imposter.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 10, 2013, 15:40
  98. Why does everyone imposterate me?

    Posted by Captain Wacko Jacko | July 10, 2013, 15:41
  99. Oh goody. We can now look forward to a variety of comments from a wide range of pseudonyms that all fit a common trait.

    1) Antisemitism and general resentment of successful, hard-working Jews

    2) Written by a lifelong failure.

    Posted by Dan Lewis | July 10, 2013, 18:35
  100. I am real Adrian Jackson so the rest of you can piss off. I’m off to peer in Dan Lewis’s bedroom window to see some strange hebrew pastimes.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 10, 2013, 18:58
  101. richard marles is my man, dumb, brave and full of himself. and most of all lisa luster

    Posted by labor mp | July 11, 2013, 14:41
  102. Very happy to announce that Mal Maninga will be launching the Candidate for Honiera’s campaign tomorrow at the legendary Hoppers Crossing Hotel! Come by for a tofu snag and soy latte!

    Posted by Richard Mulls | July 11, 2013, 14:45
  103. Oh maybe that was a bit premature. It appears St Kev has aborted my party!

    Posted by Richard Mulls | July 11, 2013, 14:49
  104. is it ‘backing’ or ‘back dooring’?

    Posted by Marles Mulls | July 11, 2013, 15:22
  105. Adrian Jackson July 10, 2013, 18:58 is an imposter. I don’t peer in bedroom windows.

    Instead, I have secret Rabbi-cams installed in the change rooms at the St Kilda Synagogue.

    Late at night when the hour is blue, and I’m again haunted by memories or my father and that Israeli soldier, I turn on the weblink, I cover my shmekel in bacon grease, and I touch myself.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 11, 2013, 21:20
  106. Adrian Jackson July 11, 2013, 21:20 is an imposter.

    It was my mother who I caught being rogered by that Israeli soldier, not my father.

    Oh it still haunts me so. The rippled sinew of his muscled back, like pythons mating beneath brown velvet, the grimaced face and the strained grunt, the sound of his thighs slapping against mother’s buttocks, slapping, slapping, slapping so jewishly.

    Why, mother, why!

    Late at night, as the hot salty tears stream down my face like Dead Sea Water across the mud of Ein Gedi, I touch myself.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 11, 2013, 21:30
  107. Hmmmmmm…. Bacon grease….. Yum.

    Posted by Fatty Doyle | July 11, 2013, 21:57
  108. Adrian Jackson July 11, 2013, 21:20 is an imposter.

    It was my mother who I caught being rogered by that Israeli soldier, not my father.

    Oh it still haunts me so. The rippled sinew of his muscled back, like pythons mating beneath brown velvet, the grimaced face and the strained grunt, the sound of his thighs slapping against mother’s buttocks, slapping, slapping, slapping so jewishly.

    Why, mother, why!

    Late at night, as the hot salty tears stream down my face like Dead Sea Water across the mud of Ein Gedi, I touch myself.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 11, 2013, 22:04
  109. You know I’m an undisputed expert on Pacific Island affairs!!!

    Posted by Richard Mulls | July 11, 2013, 23:25
  110. Where is Melbourne? I can’t find it on my map

    Posted by Lisa Clusterfutch | July 12, 2013, 16:47
  111. I though Lisa handles the ABC Radio interview quite well. She kept her cool. Is a pity Faine did not ask some useful question.

    Why have some old hacks as a candidate that will sit on the backbench for 10 years and then retire on a pension when the ALP can have Lisa to train up ready for government in 10 years time.

    Its common for candidates and MP’s not to live in their electorate. Combet went from Elwood to NSW to a safe ALP seat and Cream lives 20km from his seat.

    Posted by Independent Man | July 12, 2013, 16:56
  112. Lalor down from 6 ALP candidates to 5 with the withdrawal of Andrews wife according to ABC Newsradio this morning

    Posted by Independent Man | July 13, 2013, 12:33
  113. @Independent Man
    Wouldn’t someone like Lisa he better in the Senate given her Foreign Affairs background. That way she can travel around the world without neglecting her electorate. I get the impression she wouldn’t be much I interested in issues such as Medicare complaints, income tax issues and local schools

    Posted by Bumblebee Tuna | July 13, 2013, 13:03
  114. Ya think Billy Shorten is an arch rat? Like knifing 2 PM’s! That’s some score! But a close runner upper is Senator Scott the rat Ryan from Victoria. What a turncoat of order primo. Him plus the soft butcher from down Bentleigh way, Franky Greenstein. Two low dogs masquerading as decent fellows. Bloody butchering every Lib in human sight. No good will come of it. Walls closing in on both these dogs.

    Posted by Redder | July 13, 2013, 16:04
  115. Both Lisa and Kimberly have withdrawn and it looks like the 51 year old school headmistress will get selected from the 120 ALP members (who can vote) in Lalor.

    It is surprising that Lalor has only 120 ALP members in its branches but we might be surprised as a real local ALP candidate might get selected. Remember the school headmistress let her ALP membership lapse on 2010.

    Posted by Independent Man | July 13, 2013, 16:24
  116. I hear Kimberley may fill a Senate casual vacancy of Feeney is successful in being selected for a House of Reps electorate.

    Posted by Independent Man | July 14, 2013, 13:52
  117. To “Independent man”, as a taxypayer I do not think it a good use of my taxpayer dollar being used to train a young APS 5 parachuted into a safe seat while she is “trained for 10 years” with a VERY handsome pay cheque. That would have to be the most overpaid apprenticeship in Australia! She can train as a staffer (or something else relevant), rather than sitting in Parliament being “trained”. In my opinion Lisa needs to acquire some real life experience in Melbourne. I guess all of those other people who are university educated, older with much more life experience etc etc must be idiots to waste their time joining political parties, engaging in party work, learning the ropes etc, while Ms Clutterham just swans on in, trying to convince us she is appropriate, because she has visited Melb 4 times and has a boyfriend who is from Melbourne. Oh, she has a law degree? Um, so do thousands of other Australians! I think one journo accurately characterised the situation: “a gormless sense of entitlement”.
    Geez, Ms Kitching is clearly not as qualified as Ms Clutterham– WRONG!
    All of this is quite apart from the fact that Lisa is not a Melburnian and has no domestic political or social policy experience. You use the example of Crean– he was still a Melburnian. I am not sure the 2 situations are comparable.
    Please, stop insulting my intelligence and sense of merit and fair play. The fact that Ms Clutterham thought she was appropriate to be given such a safe seat held by a former PM based on zip relevant experience or understanding of the seat, shows exactly how Inappropriate and inexperienced she is. Anyone else would have had the sense to say no. MERIT: it is a concept that isn’t dead yet…and fortunately there are still those with commonsense.

    Posted by Justice prevailed | July 14, 2013, 16:23
  118. In Lalor there are 3 women and 1 man left as candidates. I bet the bloke wins.

    Posted by Independent Man | July 14, 2013, 18:09
  119. I’d rather a bloke get it than a woman like Michelle Rowland who gets pregnant mid-term then takes half a year off, and uses her new-born for political mileage, and the sympathy vote.
    So many women do it in politics, it’s not a job-share arrangement like teaching

    Posted by Mumbo Jumbo | July 15, 2013, 14:02
  120. Anyone want to join me peeking in the Rabbi’s bathroom window as he washes tonight?

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 16, 2013, 19:52
  121. Fatty you are most unsatisfactory as a husband.

    Posted by EPC | July 16, 2013, 21:48
  122. Vexnews is starting to get very boring, nothing but the same old crap, no new stories. Time to bring Andy back. At least something new every day. Always loved his greeny loving articles.

    Posted by Brimbank finest | July 16, 2013, 23:22
  123. RIP Vexnews. It has been an interesting ride. Especially when you stayed to local politics.

    Posted by Mattress Jumper | July 17, 2013, 19:54
  124. Oh look I can see through this window that the Rabbi has taken off his trousers.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | July 18, 2013, 23:07
  125. OK now that Lalor is over can we have Andrew back please? This is very boring without him.

    Posted by Age of Reason | July 19, 2013, 14:47
  126. Why is everyone always questioning my integrity?

    Why are gay marriage advocates questioning my integrity?

    Why are my pretend gay relatives questioning my integrity?

    Posted by KOD | July 19, 2013, 20:39
  127. Why does Pissy Chryne question my integrity?

    Posted by KOD | July 21, 2013, 15:00
  128. Who prey tell will get Joe Aston to keep writing about Peter Costello is friendly terms if I can’t wind him up on Vex , Andy? I get $500 per mention! Who will feed me now? Damn you Andy!

    Posted by Anonymous | July 21, 2013, 19:14
  129. Vote for Geoff

    Posted by Geof | July 21, 2013, 20:35
  130. for a change?
    Geoff L?

    Posted by Freddy | July 21, 2013, 20:50
  131. Raff Ciccone

    Posted by Senate spot | July 21, 2013, 21:19
  132. Time to present some news, VEX.

    Posted by Gregoryno6 | July 22, 2013, 8:44
  133. Can someone please check VEXNEWS for a pulse.

    Posted by Mattress Jumper | July 22, 2013, 13:47
  134. This is the longest boning in media history. How does it feel?

    Posted by GerardB | July 22, 2013, 16:20
  135. If the nasty pastie fat men stop me being an MP Mummy will smack their naughty bottoms.

    Posted by Mummy's Boy Lake | July 22, 2013, 19:21

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