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YES WE’RE TALKING TO YOU, KONRAD: Patronising journalist ass gets behind wheel of taxi to discover what working is like

HipsterforcedtoworkEvery now and then something will make it to print that that makes you pray for the day the presses stop rolling and papers go the way of the horse and buggy.

Something so condescending, so wanky, that ones chin can only fall to the chest as its impact sinks in, spittle slowly spilling from the gaping jaw.

Something beyond Michael Short’s weekly The Zone column. Something like Margaret Simons’ essay on Fountain Gate or Michael Gawenda’s piece a few decades back about a week living in commission flats.

This morning The Age has published an article so pat, so stupid its author will wander Media House being congratulated. It will probably win a Walkley.

For one of their number has been sent on assignment to work as – wait for it – a taxi driver.

“Wednesday was my third shift… as a cabbie…. An assignment that started as for The Age as a sort of abject curiosity,” writes their Konrad Marshall.

Fear not, though. Marshall will only have to perform the ghastly work – “the situation” – for a day or two longer.

“I’ll be behind the wheel tomorrow night, too. I feel good about it, but perhaps only because I know I can parachute out of the situation next week,” he says, feeling their pain, albeit briefly.

Marshall is no hack, mind. This kind of work can only go to a writer.

He is, as the article notes, a “deputy editor”. The bluest of blue bloods. He has a beard. He probably owns a fixie.

It would be churlish – though almost accurate – to note that a cabbie generates as much profit as the soon-to-tabloid broadsheet and people who work for a living don’t deserve to be patronised by tosh like this.

Frankly, I’d rather read the thoughts of a cabbie slumming it as the deputy editor of the (melbourne) magazine.


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  1. Normally I am against passengers belting up taxi drivers ……

    Posted by Toad of Toad Hall | August 2, 2012, 13:49
  2. I will grow a beard for the people of Kilsyth

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 2, 2012, 14:57
  3. I’ve got a big course beard that all you naughty boys are always trying to catch a peak at.

    Posted by Inga Binga | August 2, 2012, 16:47
  4. A week’s work experience as a cabbie is good chance for Konrad to increase his employment proespects for when the Age goes arse up. It will probably be the only useful experince on the resume.

    Posted by Right Said Fred | August 2, 2012, 17:27
  5. Took a cab from The Age to Trades Hall.
    Had to cash in 100 FXJ shares to pay the fare.

    Posted by Toad of Toad Hall | August 2, 2012, 21:56
  6. Ordinary sedans are not suitable as a cab (or a car for PM’s and Premiers too). Besides the back seat space being to small the passengers should be separated for the driver for security and privacy reasons.

    The London cab should be the preferred cab in Australia with the luggage space to the left of the driver as in London. The passenger seats could be two benches facing each other with space for 3 passengers on each bench.

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | August 3, 2012, 0:43
  7. Are you sure you couldn’t find a way to work some gratuitous criticism of Stephen Mayne into this article?!

    Posted by KJ | August 3, 2012, 2:18
  8. Posted by Colonel Cully | August 3, 2012, 8:11
  9. Wow, his first sentence, “Abject curiosity”. The condescension in his tone is clear from the get go. Only pathetic wretches would do this job.

    Nice work from our moral superiors. We proles salute you and your sacrifice Marshall.

    Posted by Shane Kerr | August 3, 2012, 9:48
  10. Professor Bunyip wrote an item lambasting Elizabeth Farrelly for something in a similar vein, about her travels to Sydney’s west. As with this clown, the contempt was tangible. No wonder Fairfax is now circulating only among the inner city cafe cliques.

    Posted by Black Ball | August 3, 2012, 10:19
  11. The song “Common People” comes to mind.

    Posted by Craig Mc | August 3, 2012, 10:42
  12. no Jamie Rudd
    get a big poofy mustache like me
    it gives the passenger something to hold onto when they are “wink wink” behind me depositing their funds

    Posted by Steck Jave Medlerismycraft | August 3, 2012, 11:09
  13. I will grow mutton chops for the people of Macedon

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 3, 2012, 11:52
  14. Did Konrad’s mother know about this?

    Posted by JM | August 3, 2012, 13:07
  15. Was he licensed and propeely registered to drive a cab? Seems to me that he deliberately set out to find a smoking gun. So the question is was his independent research representative of real life events? How many read the Australian anyway. It’s articles are hidden away behind a pay wall

    Posted by Taxi Directorate | August 3, 2012, 13:16
  16. I feel quite ill and I’m off my tucker with that unfortunate vision of Inga’s downstairs ‘course beard’.

    Posted by Boofa | August 3, 2012, 13:59
  17. Ingas downstairs and my Medlerismycraft cranium never in the same room, are they one in the same?

    Posted by Steck Jave Medlerismycraft | August 3, 2012, 15:02
  18. Boxer Jack will have to front court again. Police not giving up.

    Posted by Sunbury outsider 111 | August 3, 2012, 16:08
  19. I will drive a taxi from Sunbury to Kilsyth. This will show the electorate that I am a man of the people. My first campaign promise, free beaded seat covers and a complimentary can of deodorant for all cabbies. I got the deodorant of the Greens. They have heaps in a box that none of them ever seem to use

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 4, 2012, 2:02
  20. Perhaps he could ferry Lawrence Money and his zimmer frame from the Age to his home at 24 The Ridgeway, Kensington.

    Posted by Jack Pacholli | August 4, 2012, 10:41
  21. Another Age tosser.

    Posted by Annon (for good reason) | August 4, 2012, 14:13
  22. Enough of this boxer jack crap. I am the real heavy weight threat around here. I’ve heard my fellow socialists describe me as “The Great White Hopeless”, So its high praise indeed by those in awe of my pugilistic prowess. I am now watching Fight Club on VHS for the 16th time to prepare myself for the gruelling times ahead. Hodgett is scared. Actually come to think of it I’ve used that line before and it didn’t end too well. Can anyone suggest a better slogan for my forthcoming all powerful conquest of Kilsyth? Or Sunbury East as I like to call it.

    Posted by Jamie (The Slugger) Rudd | August 5, 2012, 1:42
  23. Yes KJ all Stephen Mayne’s council expenses including his taxi charges will soon be available including the $7,000 course he undertook at ratepayers expense after he had already flagged his resignation

    Posted by The Insider | August 6, 2012, 2:08
  24. No Jamie you will not be getting preselected for Scullin. To quote my old mate Keating. Go and get a (real) job instead of being a toadying apparatchik all your life.

    Posted by Harry | August 6, 2012, 18:38
  25. I will drive any ALP councillor who loses their licence for
    drink driving in my taxi. This will show that I am both a man of the people and a team player and will earn me a stab at preselection for a winnable seat, although I must concede that the number of winnable ones for my socialist collective friends and I is ever shrinking.

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 7, 2012, 16:33
  26. I will give any ALP councillor who loses their licence for drink driving a dink to council meetings on my fixie. This will show that I am as athletic as Tony Abbott and thus a man of the people who in the best Latham like traditions, enjoys a punt, pint and sport. The people will love me.

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 7, 2012, 18:08