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AUSTRALIA’S RICHEST LOSER: Sol Lew’s threats of violence stun Lindsay Fox’s kids

LewuglyA long-standing friendship between rough-and-tumble Melbourne billionaires the low-life retail dinosaur Sol Lew and his highly-regarded chum Lindsay Fox is a source of great puzzlement to the Fox offspring, well-informed sources tell VEXNEWS.

They explain one shocking incident of notoriety within the family arose when Lew – whose neurosis about being ripped off apparently prevents him from selling off planes even when he’s not using them – declined to pay bills relating to his hangar which houses three or four of his private jets at the Fox-owned Essendon Airport.

Andrew Fox, one of Lindsay’s sons in charge of the facility thought this wasn’t right so sent off a legal letter to Lew, requiring immediate payment of as much as $500,000.

Sol, ever the charmer, invited his best mate’s son up for a chat about the legal threat in Lew’s 53rd floor Century Plaza office at 101 Collins Street, where most of Lew’s dirty deals are done dirt cheap.

Gesturing to the view and the dramatic drop below, Lew asked his mate’s son “So have you brought your fuckin’ parachute?”

The young Fox said “No, why?” Lew responded “Because we might throw you off, you c*nt.”

After the initial burst of impersonating Tony Soprano, Lew eventually paid up, in need of somewhere to house his continuously growing fleet of redundant aircraft.

The incident did not boost his reputation among his mate’s kids, who think he’s the “lowest of the low.”

Stevielew2Also not well-regarded in that circle is the frequently-sniffing Stevie Lew, whose personal life is a source of constant amusement for pimps and the intellectual elite of Melbourne’s model community and who loudly boasts of many friends from the other side of the business community occasionally featured in Nine Network tele-dramas (the once chubby Sol Lew initially feared the Underbelly series was about him). It’s frightening to think what they make of the black-leather-clad, Hummer-driving, mama’s boy whose hair transplant was not the success he’d hoped.

Declining to sell anything in case he could be ripped off is not the only psychiatric condition afflicting patriarch Lew’s business life. Word around town is that he’s in a state of high paranoia about an investment bank “hacking” his email and monitoring him closely. As one of our T-shirts reads “It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you…”

Discussion

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  1. Phew! Dam Rosie I’ve just soiled myself again love, can you spare us one of your pads love?

    Posted by Solly Phew | August 28, 2012, 12:12
  2. Is Lew related to your pet Greens Senator on this page? Their faces look similar

    Posted by Adrian Jackson | August 28, 2012, 20:21
  3. Would it be at all possible to work an anti-Stephen Mayne diatribe somehow into this story? I feel that that is what it is missing.

    Posted by KJ | August 28, 2012, 21:29
  4. Soly is a top bloke.

    Posted by Micky Mc | August 28, 2012, 23:59
  5. Indeed I am a top bloke. Thanks, Mike

    Posted by Looter Lew | August 29, 2012, 0:01
  6. I am prepared to try and be a top bloke if it gets me a seat on the green or red leather

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 29, 2012, 1:28
  7. I secretly hate myself

    Posted by Jamie Rudd | August 29, 2012, 8:51
  8. Rosie love I’ll think I going to have to get a porta potty installed in the Bentley. This anal leakage is doing me in.

    Posted by Solly Phew | August 29, 2012, 19:07
  9. I hearby nominate Sol Lew for the Order of Austraia Metal

    Posted by Taliban fan | August 30, 2012, 16:28
  10. Solly is a great Australian. He is a valued member of society. Stop cutting down this great Australian.

    Posted by Mench | August 31, 2012, 13:17
  11. Dear Mench, you must either be solly or his lovechild. i for sure know your not one of the painters, tradesman or sparkys who did the work but never got paid by solly. the way this guys screws the little guy, he deserves everything people say about him.

    Posted by show me the money!!!! | September 2, 2012, 20:37
  12. Dam oh NO not here at the Board Meeting, it’s seeping out again and I’ve soiled my strides. Excuse me Dr Weiss have you got a spare handkerchief I could borrow, don’t worry my Rosie will wash it and I’ll return it.

    Posted by Solly Phew | September 3, 2012, 21:00

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