Bringing up children is not easy, and if someone says it is, they are probably lying to you. From sleepless nights to a constant state of worrying you are getting it right; it can be stressful. However, one part of bringing up children that has always been a grey area, is how much freedom your children should get in the home. Keep reading to find out more.
Rules or No Rules
As we are in 2022, there are new terms that you hear about pretty much every day. One of those terms is called Free-Range Parenting. This is the idea of raising your children with the complete freedom to decide regarding anything in the house, such as bedtimes, what they want to eat, and even sometimes if they attend school or not. There are some arguments to say this creates harmony within the household because they are no tantrums when having to listen to rules and the children become more self-reliant. However, on the other side of the argument, you have the belief that rules create structure and teach children about discipline from a young age, so they are less likely to act out in social situations.
Let Them Choose
Sometimes, creating a level of trust between you and your child isn’t always about setting rules. Letting your child decide on certain things can give them that sense of freedom. For example, if you are redecorating you could potentially let your children decide what they want their room to look like, or at least one room of the house. They could decide simply if they want blue or green as the wall paint or they could go more complex and decide if they want victorian floor tiles in their bathroom. Letting them have a choice that you have given them is a perfect balance, because you have decided what they can a choice over, but it gives them a sense of responsibility and freedom.
Boundaries and Compromises
Defining your boundaries when raising children is probably one of the hardest tasks. Here are a few tips on how to achieve the boundaries that you desire:
- Make your expectations known – what do you want to gain out of your child when setting these boundaries? Is it good behaviour, or respect? Once you have decided this, that makes setting them easier because there is a clear line that your child/children will know not to cross.
- Discipline when it has been crossed – you need to be consistent with this because your child needs to know when they have crossed the line. You must hold them accountable for their mistakes because they will eventually learn the consequences of their actions
When it comes to raising children, there is no wrong or right way, you must go with what works for you and your lifestyle. If the child is safe and happy, you are already in a good place. Having rules and boundaries are only successful if they are fair, so don’t put too much pressure on your child to be perfect as they are still learning and developing, and let’s face it, do you know a perfect adult?